A Day in the Life
by anakinlove
Summary: Lets follow Dick around like tiny stalker Timmys and see how his typical day goes. Look out world, here comes Dick Grayson!
1. Chapter 1

"You're all I've ever wanted Dick, you know that you are." Her long brown hair fell in my face as she crouched over me. She lowered her head and twitched her hips a little, her eyes narrowing seductively. I started to tremble in anticipation. Her lips were an inch from mine when suddenly, a loud noise rocked the bed we were on.

"Master Dick!" I tried to ignore it and put my arms around her, pressing my lips to hers. Mmm, they tasted like cherry! "Master Dick!" The girl disappeared in a puff of disappointment and I was left making out with my blanket. "Master Dick, time for school!" Angrily, I rolled over and stuffed my head under my pillow, wrapping myself tightly in my blankets.

"Alfred!",I roared, "You interrupted another one of my teenage fantasies. Bruce's child raising books say they're important for my development. Stop ruining them." Alfred walked into my room.

"I'm sorry Master Dick", he said dryly, "Next time do warn me so you and your blankets can get thoroughly intimate." I gave a foul natured snort and burrowed deeper into my bed. "Come now Master Dick, it is time to get up. You're going to be late."

"I don't care", I snapped, "I'm not going to school, I'm sick."

"Ohh", Alfred said, "and what ails you on this fine morning."

"Anal blindness", I replied angrily.

"Ohh", Alfred asked, "and what might that be?"

"I just can't see my ass going to school today. (I stole that from the book _Tattoos on the Heart,_ which I highly recommend by the way)" Alfred rolled his eyes and gave a halfhearted yank on my blankets, but I held on tightly to them. He gave another, more spirited jerk, but I still would not relinquish my grip. He should have known he could never beat me in a tug of war.

Alfred was about to plead exasperatedly with me again when we both heard a voice yelling from upstairs. "Alfred, I need help!"

"Yes", I said to myself softly, "saved by the Bruce." It was a good thing he was so needy all the time. Alfred seemed to sense my relief because he said fiercely, much like a war general vowing return "You will be getting out of bed Master Dick, as soon as I get back." Then, he stalked out. I heard him stop outside my door. "What is it now Master Bruce?"

"Alright, does the bunny go through the hole or around the tree first?" I giggled.

"Here, just let me do it."

"Where's Dick, is he already at school?"

"No, Master Bruce, I was just getting him up when you called me to tie your tie, something you should have learned how to do when you were his age."

"It never seemed important enough for me to devote any time to. Anyway, why did you wait this long to get him up? He's going to be late."

"I didn't "wait this long" as you put it Master Bruce", Alfred said annoyedly, "He won't get out of bed."

"Ohh", said Bruce, "well, I'll fix that." I gave a yelp and burrowed deeper into my covers. "Come on Dick, time to get up, you have school." I wanted to peek at him and see if his tie still looked ridiculous or if Alfred had fixed it, but I didn't want to show any sign of letting up. I was planning on staying in bed all day today and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

"No", I moaned, "I'm not going." Bruce gave a sigh and then ripped the covers out of my grasp. I hated that he was so strong. My mentor stood with his hands on the hips of his cashmere suit and his tie in an erratic knot around his neck. He looked less than amused. That look alone almost got me up, but I stayed down.

"What if I'd been naked/" I said, affronted at his total lack of regard for my privacy and sanctuary under my covers.

"That wouldn't have changed the fact that you need to get your lazy ass out of bed." I snorted. "Dick", he growled at me.

"Never", I said. He rolled his eyes and then grabbed me around the middle.

"Hey!" I screamed, "Put me down, I have rights!" But, he tossed me over his shoulder and started to haul me down stairs. "Stop it!" I cried angrily, "I'm too big for this. This is child molestation, I'm gonna have like fifty lawyers on your ass." He carried me over to the couch and tossed me none to gently onto it. I glared up at him, but he had an amused expression on his face. I curled up reflexively at the cold. "It's freezing down here", I moaned.

"Then I'll warm you up", he said, and started tickling me violently.

"No", I screamed, trying to get away. But of course, no one escapes the Dark Knight, no one. I was howling for mercy when he chanced a glance up at the clock and gave a yelp.

"I'm late for my meeting", he said and raced back over to Alfred. "Fix my tie!" Alfred rolled his eyes and started undoing all the knots Bruce had put in it. I lay back on the couch.

"So", I said, "how long are you gonna be at work?"

"Until midnight", he replied, "it's a really important meeting, I'm trying to close a deal and I have a lot of work to do. Sorry Dick, no patrol tonight."

"Aww", I moaned, "but you promised." He shrugged.

"Sorry Bud, but that's just the way it is. Anyway, I gotta go." Alfred finished and Bruce raced out the door, stopping to kiss me goodbye on my forehead. I remained with my arms crossed, gazing foul naturedly at him. He gave me an apologetic smile and walked out. I sat down at the table in silence to eat my Crockies Cereal.


	2. Chapter 2

Alfred knew there was something wrong because I had scarcely said a word as I sat in the car. I was not, by any means, a quiet kid. I would talk "till the cows came home" if I thought anyone would listen that long. Since Alfred was always up to listening to me in the car, it was usually him at the other end of any of my one-way conversations. Today, however, I just stared out the window.

"Try to cut him some slack Master Dick", Alfred said smoothly to me, "he is rather busy you know."

"I know", I said, "that's why I'm mad, 'cause I can't be mad at him. It makes me angry." Alfred smirked. "I know I'm not priority in his life anyway", I muttered.

"Now, now young Master", said Alfred, "none of this feeling sorry for yourself. He does care about you, quite deeply, as you well know."

"I know", I said replied sassily, "but can't you give me five minutes of feeling sorry for myself. It makes me feel better." Alfred rolled his eyes. I gazed out the window again for a moment before striking up another conversation. "You think if I asked, Bruce would get me a rifle."

"A rifle", Alfred asked, "Why not just ask him if you can join a satanic cult? It would probably go over better." I grinned.

"You're probably right."

"Just out of curiosity master Dick", Alfred queried, "What is this new fascination with guns?"

"Not all guns, first of all, and second, not mine. It's just that everyone in school is talking about their new rifles and I was feeling out of the loop."

"I suppose he would buy it for you if you asked", Alfred said smoothly, "he tends to have a soft spot when it comes to you. But anyway, we're here." I looked out the window again and saw my school, bearing over me like some sinister prison.

"No", I groaned, "please don't make me go, it's so boring. Being a sophomore sucks. You just don't remember because it's been like a million years since you were fifteen."

"Get out of the car", Alfred said dryly, "I really don't want to have to drag you out." I begrudgingly stepping out of the car and gathered my stuff. Then, I hugged Alfred goodbye and turned towards the school, twitching with displeasure. Alfred drove away quickly, so I couldn't try to dive back in the car I suppose. I had been contemplating it. I gave a sigh and turned to walk up the steps.

The campus of the Gotham Academy was a nice one, full of trees and grass. The grounds were extensive and there was an over all feeling of grandeur and opulence. The building itself was one of the oldest in Gotham, made of smart red bricks stacked neatly. It was said to be a beautiful building, but I just thought it looked wicked.

"Dickie Greyson", I heard a voice behind me call. My face broke into a grin. I swung around to face my best friend Allen.

"Don't call me Dickie", I snapped playfully.

"Or what", Allen asked.

"I'll call you Ally", I replied. Allen grimaced, but seemed to take my threat to heart because he laid off.

"Anyway", he continued, "Did you finish your math homework?"

"You're not going to copy", I replied.

"Aww, come on Dick, just this once."

"Bruce would cut off my head and mount it on a stake if he heard I was cheating."

"It wouldn't be you cheating", he replied, "It would just be me and anyway, no one would ever know." I gave him a impish look.

"If you started doing well school Allen", I replied, "The teachers would think the apocalypse was happening. Everyone would notice." Allen rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, did you convince your old man to let you have a rifle yet?"

"I haven't asked", I muttered sheepishly.

"Don't tell me you're scared", Allen prompted, poking me in the arm.

"No", I replied angrily, "I just don't really want one is all.' Allen rolled his eyes.

"Sure", he said, "Anyway, "I reckon I'll just go ask Anna if I can copy her homework. I know she likes me."

"In your dreams", I replied.

"Speaking of dreams", Allen muttered softly, lowering his voice, "Have you gotten the name of that chick in yours yet?"

"No", I muttered darkly, "Though she's mega hot."

"Well, I guess a hot girl would only be on top of you in your wildest fantasies." I aimed a halfhearted punch at him, which he dodged before racing away after Anna, who was chatting with a few of her friends.

"Hi Dick" I looked up blankly at a group of three girls walking by me. They giggled furiously when they saw my face and raced off talking a mile a minute. I rolled my eyes. Girls, I would never understand them.

I sat down on one of the ornate fountains and pulled out my chemistry book with the intention of doing some last minute studying. I felt fairly well prepared, but one never could be too careful. A few boys walked by, saying hello to me before continuing their conversation about a rifle.

"Rifles", I muttered darkly to myself. That was what everyone was talking about these days. Gotham Academy was a rich kid's school and though I had begged Bruce to send me to public, he had maintained that I should get to know the kids I would be affiliated with when I got older and that the courses here were of much higher caliber then the ones offered at the nearest public school.

Still though, me and everyone else knew that I was an outsider here. I didn't belong to this world of fancy sports cars and ornate fountains. I was born a circus brat and I always would be. I felt out of place surrounded by all this, despite the fact that I had spent the better part of my life living in it.

The kids here went through these huge buying sprees and normally found a fad to fixate their enormous amounts of resources towards. The newest of these was a rifle and though everyone was obsessed with them, I really wasn't interested. It would have been nice to have something with which I could relate to them, but I knew what Bruce thought of guns and the truth was, I wasn't crazy about asking for stuff from him.

Bruce had this funny habit of finding out something I wanted and in a spur of boredom, buying it for me. I hated asking for anything from him because always a shadow of insecurity stayed with me, and an urge to not be too needy. I wasn't as if I really had want of anything either.

From my birth up until I was eight, my parents had not been rich. On the contrary, when I wanted something, I had to earn the money for it myself. When we didn't have money for Christmas or birthday presents, we didn't get them. This world of having everything one wanted was strange to me. I was used to a father who couldn't give me everything but always kept his promises, no matter how small.

Well, I suppose I really had no right to complain about Bruce. He was a good guy and he cared about me more then he did his money, which was more then I could say for a lot of the kids I knew that went to this prestigious place. I guess with all the money in the world, one couldn't buy affection. I was the only one in the whole school who was adopted and yet had the least family problems. Go figure.

The bell rang, jolting me out of my thoughts. Well, it was time for me to be on my way to my first class, Chemistry.

**I know this has been a little slow so far, but I promise, it picks up the pace. **


	3. Chapter 3

My schedule went like this every day of every week of every month: Chem (boring), Gym (no challenge), Algebra (dull), Art (lame), Lunch (food sucks), History (snore), English (sleeper class), and Home Economics (so stupid). My day was altogether pretty pathetic so don't blame me for not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.

All I had to look foreward to was after school when I could chill out with my bros and go on patrol with Batman. But, with Batman out of the equation, it was starting out a pretty crummy day already.

I sat down in Chem with my hand on my cheek. Everyone was still talking about rifles and I was totally fed up. "What's up with all these crummy rifles?" I said loudly and rather rudely actually, "They're just pieces of metal that expel other pieces of metal by way of a chemical reaction." Ten pairs of eyes turned on me.

"Well Greyson", a big beefy guy named Paul sneered, "I suppose someone who didn't have a rifle would feel that way. I guess your parents don't really love you. Ohh, that's right, you don't have any." I rolled my eyes.

"That taunt is like what, three years old? We all know they're dead, can we move on to more intelligent insults? Hey, I've got one. You're probably such a bad shot, you can't even hit your fat ass friends for target practice." Paul turned several shades of red and then leapt at me. It was then I knew he had just been looking for an excuse to pick a fight in the first place.

We knocked over several desks as we rolled around on the ground, throwing punches. I held back as much as I could, but it was hard not to try and destroy the guy. After all, he had been harassing me for well over a year and a half now and it was really starting to get on my nerves. He was always comparing me to himself and his rich boy friends.

It wasn't too hard to take Paul down. Eventually, I ended up on top of him, fists flying into his faces. When, I felt like he had had enough, I got up off of him and pumped my fist into the air. "What now, I just beat your ass, yes I did." I probably could have stopped right there, but I decided to add insult to injury. "And, I'll bet I'm at least three times bigger than you are."

For emphasis, I thrust my hips at him and then backed up another step. It was then that I hit something hard and turned around to find my Chem teacher, a Mr. Chemo, glowering at me. "Heh, heh, heh", I nervously laughed, "I was just showing Paul how to calculate the force of a fist using his face." I smiled my most adorable smile, the one that always got me off the hook with Bruce, but Mr. Chemo's face remained stony.

"Go", he said sternly, pointing to the door. I hung my head and walked out. "Damn", I thought to myself, "Bruce is gona really give it to me now." Bruce never, ever hit me. He clipped my wings and grounded me, but he never did anything even remotely physical. He rarely even manhandled me, aside from the occasional shove towards the door when I was irritating him.

But, when he got really mad at me, he would start to flex his muscles in the way he always did before he hit a bad guy so I could always tell when he was really fighting to keep his cool. I figured I would see such a display today, as this was the third school fight I had gotten into this month. Then, as I was trekking my way to the principal's office, an idea came to me. If I played my cards right, I could probably get out of this fairly easily.

000000000

"And then", I sobbed pathetically, "I saw their dead faces in his eyes and so I had to hit him." I lowered my head, trying to hide my frantic snickering as the counselor, Mr. Pringles, eyed me sympathetically, all the while scribbling notes into his little red spiral dubbed the Dick Book by him, as the entire thing was devoted to his studies of me. When I had heard that one, I could barely hold back my laughter.

"I think", I said dramatically, raising my head once I had regained my composure, "it was the influence of…" I paused for theatrical effect at this point and muttered in a hoarse whisper "…the deathapotomus."

Now, lets pause for a second while I explain the deathapotomus. The counselor, back when I first came to this school as a freshman, decided I was to be his little pet project as he considered me a tortured soul with deeply rooted psychological problems.

I had been dragged into my third boring session that week was totally fed up. You see, he had been unable, so far at least, to find anything really psychologically wrong with me. There just wasn't anything and he was determined to dig up some dirt. So, I decided to give him what he wanted a made up a "deathapotomus".

The name came from my combination of death (which seemed pretty dramatic at the time) and a hippo, because the dude had a giant stuffed head of one on his wall, which stared at me while I talked to him.

I said the deathapotomus was the manifestation of all of my fears of people I loved dying, due to my parents' deaths of course, that haunted me everywhere I went. It was a creature with one eye, one ear, one horn on top of its head and one short, stumpy leg.

I drew pictures of it for him and spoke animatedly of how it taunted me and swirled around in my head, keeping me up with the worst nightmares at night. From that, he came up with all these weird conclusions and remedies to help me get rid of my "little problem" but I never tried any of them so I guess he figured they never worked.

Anyway, he got his "once in a lifetime" psychological case and I got a free ticket out of trouble. All I had to do was mention the deathapotomus and I was pretty much set. Bruce didn't know about these weekly sessions I had with the counselor, that I was trying, yet failing, to get rid of, and I thought it better he stayed in the dark, as I wasn't sure what he would think.

I also wasn't quite sure how my parents would feel about helping me get out of class, but I figured they wouldn't mind too much.

"So", I whispered, "I thought more and more about death as I walked to your room and decided to just kill myself."

"No, no, Dick", Mr. Pringle yelped frantically, "Suicide is never the answer. That is just letting the Deathapotomus win and you simply can't."

"Well", I sighed pathetically, "Maybe its better. You know, I wrote a poem about the deathapotomus, would you like to hear it?"

"Ohh yes Dick", Mr. Pringle said eagerly, "I would." I then proceeded to read him a nine-page narrative Allan and I had thrown together a few weeks back for fun. I figured if I wasted enough time, the bell would ring and I wouldn't have to go back to Chemistry. Finally, I finished and just as the bell was about to go off too. I quietly smiled to myself. 'Hah', I thought, 'and Allen said I wouldn't pull it off.'

"Well", Mr. Pringles murmured gravely, "I think it's about time you progressed to…the next step." I nodded my head as if I knew what that was and the bell rang. Now, Mr. Pringle would never let me out just for the bell, and especially not after that suicidal poem I had written, but I wasn't going to spend one more minute in the creepy place.

I leapt out of my chair and pointed to the wall. "The deathapotomus", I shrieked, "It's here, in the room! I'd better go, I have to get away."

"Run Dick", the counselor called after me, "You can outrun your fears, I know you can." I bounded out of the room, giggling violently, and pranced to gym.


	4. Chapter 4

Allen shrugged and said, "I don't know man, I mean, I know you hate asking for stuff, but I really think the rifle would be a good plan."

"Well", I replied, "Maybe, but I don't know." We returned our gaze to Harry Potter (we all asked him on the first day if he was a wizard, but he said he wasn't and after that, everyone just kind of ignored him), who was struggling desperately to climb a rope in gym. Allen and I had already placed our bets on him. I figured he would make it half way. Allen said he wouldn't even make it a quarter.

"What do I need with a rifle anyway?" I asked, "What am I gona shoot?" Allen shrugged as Harry slid down the rope with a wail.

"You owe me a soda by the way bro, he only made it an eighth." I rolled my eyes and tried to figure out how to get out of this one.

"Dick Greyson", the Gym teacher, a Mrs. Gymo (I don't really know where they got these teachers), summoned.

"See ya", I called, and bounced over to the rope. Now, everyone knew I had once been an acrobat so thankfully; I didn't have to pretend I was a wimp to hide the fact that I was Robin. In fact, it would have been suspicious if I hadn't performed like I did. It was nice to be able to show off to the ladies. I climbed the rope in two seconds flat and, just to flaunt things a little, leapt off about six feet from the ground and back flipped a few times.

The girls giggled and I swaggered back to Allen. But, at that moment, Paul stuck his foot out and tripped me. I snarled at him, but walked on. "I hate that kid", I growled under my breath to Allen. Allen shrugged.

"What can you do?" he asked, "And anyway, things'll be better after class." He winked at me.

Once the bell rang, Allen and I ran off to the locker room and made our way to the back, where no one would see us. After our second period, we got a ten-minute break to just hang out or do whatever we wanted. I had planned our activities already.

Once we got to a place suitably far from prying eyes, I pulled out my tiny TV screen, the one Bruce and I always used for surveillance. Now, through a difficult series of maneuvers and a lot of work, I had managed to place one of the Batman's tiny cameras in the girl's locker room. It had instantly made me into Allen's all time favorite human being.

Braxton Dubois slid out of her top just as the screen flickered to life. "Damn Grayson", Allen whistled, "I never thought being friends with you would be this good." If I were to line up all the girls at my school on the basis of the attractiveness of their physical attributes, Braxton would be in the top five. She was built like a tigress, lean and lightly muscled, as I suppose a volleyball player should be, and tanned up like bronze. Damn was she fine.

"So Tiffany, what do you think of that Dick Grayson kid?" Bella said teasingly.

"Are you kidding me?" Tiffany (off screen) squealed, "He's like a piece of chocolate covered pie." I grinned at Allen, who rolled his eyes.

"Ohh", Greta cooed, "I like Allen better." I started to snicker madly at Allen's horrified look because Greta was like the strangest chick we'd ever met. She loved bugs, worshiped bugs, collected bugs and looked like a bug. Allen hated bugs.

Braxton arched her back, that purple spotted bra looked smaller and smaller every second. Then, just as she unfastened the back of it and our breaths caught in our throats, Greta broke into a grating love song and tossed her shirt. It happened to land directly over the tiny camera.

"No", Allen howled.

"Damn", I cursed, "Your stupid girlfriend spoiled everything."

"She's not my girlfriend", Allen snapped.

"But she sure thinks she is", I snickered wickedly. Allen tossed his shirt at me and stalked off to shower. Giggling to myself, I started to formulate a plan to move the camera where Greta's flying articles wouldn't reach it so easily.

Algebra slipped by quickly as I poked Allen with a pencil and pretended to work on my unit circle, which was about as confusing and useless as one of the Riddler's jokes. Art too flew like the batwing and I threw paint at Kathy, one of a few girls I'm currently into.

Some of it landed on her canvas and she was commended for her fantastic abstract art. She grinned at me and blew me a kiss, which made me turn redder then the paint on my canvas.

I always sat with Allen, who was just one among the many "bros" I hung out with during the free twenty minutes I was given to eat lunch. It was fun because we always traded food and spent a good deal of time throwing it at each other, as well as chatting about girls, sports, girls, cars and well, girls. Cut us some slack, we're teenage boys.

I was just biting down on a Twinkie Dwayne had given me when I noticed increased activity around where Paul was. Now, Paul's business is my business so I naturally had to stick my nose in. I gazed over at him and his group, completely missing the punch line of Allen's joke.

Paul and a few of his friends were closing in on this ity bity freshman that was trying to find a table. Paul was like a shark. I got up and angrily strode over. "Leave him alone", I snapped. The freshman gazed at me apprehensively, dark eyes glittering with fear. He looked like he was from China or something, probably an exchange student; all the more reason for Paul to prey on him.

"How is this any of your concern Greyson?" Paul snarled.

"Didn't I beat your ass once today already Garboni?" I asked. Paul snorted.

"I would hardly call that a win after you were dragged off to the counselor's office. I suppose you would need extra help though, you being big old Bruce Wayne's boy toy and all." I gave an angry growl.

"You leave him out of this", I said.

"Aww", Paul crooned, seeing he had hit a sensitive spot, "Little Dickie Greyson is protecting his boyfriend. Is that why you want him?" Paul indicated the Freshman, who trembled slightly, "So you can have your own little boy toy. I guess you would want to be on top for once. I'll be Bruce can be pushy, huh. What'd you think guys, you think Dickie's Bruce's little bitch?"

That was when I snapped. No one insulted Bruce, no one. "I'm gona fricking eat your heart bastard," I snarled. Paul's friends amassed around him, seething, but my buddies had flanked me in an instant. We were like two conflicting armies, just waiting for a chance to attack. Everyone was staring at us, including the poor freshman, who was stuck in the middle.

We were about to digress into blows when the lunch monitor, who liked to spend his time in a broom closet with the music teacher, emerged. He looked us over. "Everything alright boys?" he asked in a silky smooth voice which indicated exactly the answer we were required to give.

"Yes sir", Paul grumbled darkly. I nodded and slowly stalked back to the table.

"Tha…Thank you", the Freshman stammered, stumbling slightly over his English. I smiled at him.

"You're welcome", I said, "Would you like to come sit with us?" He nodded vigorously and though a few of my friends gave annoyed grunts, most of them were used to my "adoptions" and went along with them. I just couldn't take it when someone was alone.

After my parents died, I had harbored such a fear of being alone, I refused to allow anyone else to experience it as well. Most of my "adoptees" went on to their own social circles eventually, so it wasn't all that big of a deal.

"We need to do something to get back at Paul", Greg snarled, scooting over so the freshman could sit next to me.

"What's you're name?" I asked.

"Jun Wong", he replied.

"Pleased to meet you Jun", I said, holding out my hand to shake. He shook it shyly.

"Dick", Greg prompted.

"Ohh yea", I said, "We need to do something awful." I noticed Jun eyeing my potato chips (though I could tell he was trying to hide it) and opened the bag saying, "Take as many as you want." He grinned happily at me and thanked me. I liked being nice. It always made me feel good inside.

"We need to do something absolutely dreadful", Allen said.

"Yea", I growled, "but what can we do?"

"We could put poisonous snakes in his locker", Ian said excitedly. We all stared at him.

"No", I said incredulously, "We're trying to prank him not commit homicide." Ian sighed dejectedly. I rolled my eyes. I needed to remind Bruce to put him on a watch list or something.

"How's about we frame him for doing something", Bill motioned.

"Naw", Dwayne replied, "he'd just get detention. We need to publicly humiliate him." I nodded.

"Dwayne's right. Anymore suggestions?" Jun tentatively lifted his hand. I laughed.

"It's alright", I said gently, "Just speak up. You only do that in class."

"Well", he murmured, "perhaps you could…" We all stared at him after a moment.

"Wow", I said, "You came up with all that spending about two minutes eating potato chips." He shrugged.

"I like it", Allen said, "Good going kid." He clapped Jun on the shoulder, who looked up happily at the older boy.

"Let's do it", Bill agreed. I grinned wickedly.

"He's gonna die", I murmured. Ian looked up hopefully. "Metaphorically speaking of course", I added quickly. Ian gave a sigh and returned to his potato salad. The fact that he was eating potato salad at a high school lunch made me even more certain Bruce ought to be watching him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Dick, Dick wait up", I heard a voice behind me call. I turned to see Jun striding swiftly towards me. Though I knew I was probably going to be late for my next class, I waited politely anyway.

"I really gotta run Jun, the bell's about to ring. Can we talk after school?"

"I wanted to tell you though", Jun said, "I heard Paul talking and he said he was going to do something awful to you in Home Economics. I thought you'd want to know."

"Bastard", I cursed. "Thanks bud, I'll watch out for him."

"Also", Jun said shyly, "I thought perhaps you might help me with my English after school tomorrow, if you maybe have time."

"'Course", I said, "come by the manor tomorrow and we can work at it."

"Really?" Jun said hopefully. I nodded. He gave me an elated grin and I took off at a run, skidding into my class just as the bell rang.

Mr. Historyo (seriously, where do these teachers come from?) looked up from where he was reading his textbook and said, "Cutting it a little close, aren't we Mr. Grayson?"

"Sorry sir", I said, sliding in next to Allen.

"Who can tell me what we're studying right now?" Mr. Historyo said.

"Oo, oo, oo." I bounced up and down in my chair, hand raised. All the girls giggled.

"Mr. Grayson."

"Dwight", I replied. Mr. Historyo rolled his eyes and everyone laughed.

"We must refer to him as Mr. Eisenhower since we do not know him personally but yes, we are indeed studying his presidency. So, in honor of this, I have constructed for you all a prop to allow you to stay focused on the task at hand."

With that, Mr. Historyo dug in his briefcase and pulled out a sack. We all gazed interestedly at it. "When Mr. Eisenhower was campaigning for the presidency, he had these made to help with that." Then, Mr. Historyo began to walk around the room, handing out his little "prizes".

I gazed fascinated at what was in my hand. It was Dwight's smiling, ugly head on a Popsicle stick. "But, this picture is creepy", Allen said, "this would make me not want to vote for him."

"Well", Mr. Historyo replied dryly, "it obviously worked for Mr. Eisenhower because he won the election." I started to snicker quietly to myself.

"What?" Allen asked.

"Wait for it", I said softly. Then, I leapt out of my chair and screamed at the top of my lungs "Dwight Fight!" and we were all beating each other with Dwight D. Eisenhower's creepy old head and screaming at the top of our lungs as if we had just leapt from the pages of The Lord of the Flies.

A few minutes later, when Mr. Historyo had managed to calm the class down, our "Dwights" were confiscated and we were told we would not be getting them back until we learned maturity. "Who needs maturity", I whispered to Allen, "Lets print off a whole bunch of those and see who can do the most obscene thing to them." Allen snickered. Then, Shelia, the creepy girl who sits next to me and has one eye that's higher than the other, passed me a note.

At first, I didn't want to open it because I thought it was from Shelia, but then I smelt the rich scent of midnight pomegranate all over it. (So, just for your information, I only know these sorts of scents by name because Bruce made me memorize them so I could tell women apart at parties and be able to better identify them. At first, I thought he was just fucking with me, but it actually works. Anyway, no, I don't actually wear the stuff, I know that's what you were thinking. Stop it.) No, there was only one person this could be from, Braxton.

I looked back her and she smiled seductively at me. I grinned as huskily as I could at her in return, which earned me a giggle, and opened the note. '_Meet me behind the trophy case after this class.' _I raised my eyebrows and handed it to Allen. He whistled quietly. I was looking foreward to the end of this class.

00000000

I slid behind the case about five minutes after the bell rang for afternoon break. I would have ten minutes. I resolved to make it count. She was already there. "Hi Dick", she murmured softly, coming towards me. Her hips swayed like a ship on a stormy sea and I started to sweat.

"Hi Braxton", I replied. She came up so close, her breasts were brushing my chest. Was it getting hot back here, or was it just me?

"You know", Braxton said softly, "I've been watching you all year and I like you."

"Y…you do?" I stammered. She smiled and nodded, putting her perfectly manicured nails behind my neck. Her other hand rested on my chest, traveling further and further down. If I were a dog, my tail would have been wagging like hell. Then, she pressed her lips to mine. They tasted like cherry.

I dropped my hands down to her waist, pulling her closer. We made out for close to five minutes before she pulled back. "See you around Dick", she said smoothly, walked out from behind the case. I stood there, my head in the clouds for what seemed like an eternity before the bell rang and I snapped out of my trance, rushing off to English. What the hell had just happened?

"So", Allen said, giving me a shove when he sat down next to me, "What happened?"

"Well first, she came up to me and then she was like all over me. And then…"

"I guess your chatter means you'd like to read your poem first Mr. Grayson", Mrs. Spanisho (they messed up on her I guess) said coolly.

"Sure", I replied, getting up. "Finish later", I murmured to Allen.

"Now", Mrs. Spanisho said, "Everyone remember the assignment was to write a poem about yourself. Go ahead Dick."

"Alright", I said, taking a deep breath, "This poem is entitled Me, a poem about me by me.

My name is Dick Grayson, I'm better than you

I'm cooler than everything, even a kazoo

I like to eat meat, it's tasty and good

I'd eat it all day and all night if I could

My guardian's richer than you'll ever be

You know 'cause you've seen us on the TV

I have a butler and he's pretty chill

He cleans up everything that I spill

I'm bigger than Paul in every way

I poned him so hard today

I think girls are sexy and they all like me

Just a heads up, ladies, I'm free

I was an acrobat I can do a flip

Coke with Allen I like to sip

My favorite color is bright blue

I like cows when they go moo

I'm swiftly running out of things to say

So I think I shall simply call it a day"

I bowed and sat back down amid laughter (which I thrived on) and the bewildered look from my teacher.

"Uhh, thank you Mr. Grayson that was…enlightening."

"Back to Braxton", Allen hissed.

"Alright", I said, "so anyway…"

"Mrs. HomeEco is never going to take that as a real recipe", I said to Allen as he pushed raisins into his slice of bread.

"It's raisin bread", he retorted, "How the hell do you think they make it?"

"You are so stupid", I moaned.

"Well, what are you making?" I pulled on my oven mitts and reached into the stove to pull out my tray.

"I made meat muffins", I said proudly.

"Meat muffins?" Allen asked incredulously. I nodded.

"I made some muffin batter and threw some hotdog in there."

"That's disgusting", Allen said.

"I betcha it'll be delicious", I said, "just like Braxton." He rolled his eyes.

"When are you gona stop rubbing that in my face." I shrugged.

"I don't know", I replied, "Next year maybe."

"So boys", Mrs. HomeEco said, coming over, "What do we have here?" She stared coldly at Allen's raisin bread. "Mr. Tatno, shoving raisins into your bread does not count as making raisin bread. I'm sorry but all I can give you is a D for that."

"Aww, come on", Allen moaned, "I made a pattern. See, I made a spaceship." Mrs. HomeEco rolled her eyes.

"D plus then?"

"Yes", Allen said.

"Alright Mr. Grayson, lets see how you did." She took a bite of one of the muffins. At first, I thought everything was going to be ok, that is until her face turned a sickly shade of green. She rushed for the trashcans amid Allen's howls of laughter and heaved into it.

"Ohh come on", I wailed, "They weren't that bad." I looked down at the discarded muffin and noticed a little piece of sauerkraut sticking out. Alright, I definitely did not put sauerkraut in my meat muffins. There was also a bit of red. Peppers?

It was then that I noticed the wicked grin on Paul's face. "Ohh", I whispered softly to myself, amid the retching sounds Mrs. HomeEco was making and Allen's raucous laughter, "Ohh, it's on."


	6. Chapter 6

I walked out of the school, moving deliberately and quickly. I didn't have much time. Everything was in place for what I needed to do. Sneaking over to the side of the building, I flipped the switch on my walkie-talkie. "Everything in motion Allen?"

"Everything's in place."

"Alright, Dick out." Allen started to snicker. "What?"

"You just said dick out." I rolled my eyes.

"Grow up, we're supposed to be professional here." He continued to snicker like a five year old until I snapped "Fine, Richard out", and flicked off the walkie-talkie. Quickly, I crept along the side of the side of the building and lowered myself to the ground in a prime place to watch the kids leave.

As soon as I was sure everyone was gone (except for the occasional weirdo who hung around the school after it was actually out and the kids who had detention, not that they mattered anyway) I darted across the yard and down to my bike. I needed to be absolutely sure I wasn't followed so I had to wait until everyone was out of the area. You never knew who could be a spy.

Because I usually hung out with my friends for a while after school, Alfred didn't come to pick me up. Instead, he just dropped off my bike. The manor was a little ways away, far enough to force me to wake up an extra hour early for school (which I absolutely would not go for) if I wanted to ride my bike there but close enough to make the bike ride home a pleasant one and something of a warm up before a training session with Bruce or a patrol, depending on what time he got home and the kind of night it was.

I pedaled out of the alleyway where Alfred always chained my ride and swiftly down the road. After a few minutes, I cruised into the parking lot in front of Wringly's Gags and Jokes, probably one of my favorite stores. It was the place where I got the itching powder to put in the bat suit and the fake dog poop to put on the seat of the batmobile and the super stick glue to put on the bat chair in front of the bat computer.

Needless to say, this is probably Bruce's least favorite store. Well, I suppose that's not totally true. There was this one time with Kryptonite laced itching powder, but that's another story. Anyway, I chained my bike to the rack and walked in. It's a pretty cool store on the inside actually and it was nice to get out of the sun.

As summer was creeping up on us, it was starting to get hot. It was the kind of day where I wanted nothing more than to run out over the hot pavement and have Bruce throw me in the pool, but I had a mission right now. I slid down the isles and got what I needed before paying and leaving, a shopping bag swinging from the handle of my bike.

It kind of sucked being fifteen and therefore unable to drive. I begged Bruce to bribe some officials or something to get them to let me drive early but he refused. He said he wouldn't feel safe on the road anymore if I was there. I told him I was a great driver and he started laughing. I mean, he was on the floor. I was terribly offended.

I sped down the street to Le Chez hair salon. Now, everyone at school knows that the only thing Paul loves more than harassing me is his hair. He goes to this gay little salon once a week to get his hair all cut and prettied up. It made me want to gag, but I had to admit, he did have great hair. Allen swore I turned a little green every time I beheld the splendor that was Paul's fantastic mane.

I was rather fond of my hair as well, after all, it was dazzling, but everyone seemed to think Paul's was better. I ran a few of my classmates through various blood tests but found no drugs that could have caused this strange preference but, mind you, I'm still looking. I cruised around the back to the employee door where Allen was waiting, frantically gesturing for me to hurry. I dumped my bike and darted into the back after him.

"Alright", Allen said, crouching next to me behind a box in the storage room, have you got the stuff. I nodded and opened the bag. Allen and I slipped into the fake mustaches and wigs I had brought with me. We slid on coats like the rest of the employees in the salon and walked with out of the back room, a bottle in each hand.

The nice thing about Paul is that he's not just awful to me, but everyone else he comes in contact with, including his usual stylist. So, as I walked past Jacque and winked at him, he winked before looking the other way.

"Mr. Garboni", I said loudly, doing my best French accent as I came up behind Paul, sitting on a salon chain with his back to me, "Are you ready to go?"

"You're not Jacque", Paul snapped, his piggy little eyes looking me over.

"I am his brother", I replied, "He had to take off, but worry not my little ravioli, I will take care of you."

"Whatever, just be quick."

"Just FYI", Allen whispered to me, "Ravioli is Italian."

"Whatever", I hissed. Then, I pulled out my scissors and my tube, a wicked grin on my face. As I worked on Paul's hair, Allen next to me handing me tools, Paul was on the phone, talking to some friend of his. I wasn't really listening until I heard my name.

"Yea, Braxton said Grayson ate it up when she pretended to like him. She said he kissed like a pig. I can't wait until she breaks his pathetic little heart in front of the whole school tomorrow." Allen gave me a look and I bit my bottom lip, feeling hurt wash over me. I barely registered Allen's hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't believe it. I had been so sure she liked me. I had thought… "Look man", Allen whispered to me, "if you wanna go home, I can finish here. I'll make him look good."

"No", I replied my voice hard, "I'm doing this."

000000000000

"Alright, Mr. Garboni", I said loudly after about ten minutes more, "I have made your magnificent mane into a masterpiece to rival Michelangelo. Take a look." I turned his chair to the mirror. Now, there are some sounds I will remember for the rest of my life. The humming of my mother as she cooked, my father's whoop of ecstasy while flying through the air on the trapeze, Alfred's dry chuckle at Batman's pathetic attempts to avoid medical care, and Bruce's gravelly lullabies, voice full of love and fatigue. Yet this one probably ranked above them all.

Paul gave the highest scream I have ever heard a human being make and leapt a foot out of his chair. His hair was so beautiful, I would have cried, had I not been laughing so hard. Bright orange and pink streaks graced his Mohawk from top to bottom (which was cut at odd lengths so it looked like a mane on a poorly groomed pony), set off quite stunningly by the neon green spots dappling his bare skull.

I had tested this paint on the batmobile several times and it had taken Bruce two weeks to figure out how to get it off so I figured Allen would be stuck with his lovely do for at least three months. The glue I had used to fashion the Mohawk also boasted being able to "hold an elephant to a brick wall" and I had used liberal amounts.

"Grayson", Paul snarled, finally ascertaining the identity of his new "stylist", "I'm gonna kill you." Allen and I exchanged a frantic look before darting out the back door, screaming like we were being chased by the devil himself. We leapt onto our bikes and pedaled as fast as we could away, Paul roaring at us like an enraged rhinoceros. I almost ran into a passing car, I was laughing so hard.


	7. Chapter 7

"We sure got him", Allen sputtered as we staggered into Wayne manor together, his arm around my shoulder. I nodded brightly and opened a can of Coke. Bruce hated Coke, but I made sure Alfred bought me some on occasion.

We collapsed into chairs at the kitchen table and drained our soda cans, augmented of course, by several freshly baked chocolate chip cookies (thank you Alfred). "So", Allen said softly suddenly making the mood in the kitchen a whole lot more somber, "Braxton." I shrugged and nibbled the end of my cookie. "You were too good for that bitch anyway", Allen said encouragingly, clapping my shoulder. I appreciated him being supportive now, after I had kind of rubbed his nose in the fact that I had gotten to kiss her. I shrugged again.

Allen, not really sure what else to say, finished his snack and got up. "Well, sorry Dick, I have to go."

'Sure you don't want to stick around", I asked, "Bruce'll be gone all evening and I just got a new game."

"Sorry man, I have to get home. My mom needs me to help her with something. I'll see you tomorrow though."

"Yea", I said softly, "Sure."

"Are…are you gonna be ok", Allen asked hesitantly.

"Sure", I replied, smiling as best I could, "Don't worry about me, I'll see you around."

"Ok", Allen murmured slowly, as if he didn't quite believe me, and walked out the door. I gave a sigh and put my face down on the table. Why did my life have to be so complicated? It was right then that I heard the front door open.

Wondering who could possibly be arriving at the manor now, since I had distinctly heard Alfred vacuuming my room just a few minutes before, I walked curiously to the door. There was Bruce yanking off his tie. "Bruce", I said, surprised, "I thought you were gonna be gone all afternoon."

"I was", Bruce replied, "but I decided to cut the meeting short and come home."

"Does that mean we get to go on patrol?" I asked hopefully. He nodded. "Yes", I whooped, pumping my fist and leaping up. He smiled at me, but there was something in his eyes, a kind of anxiousness. "Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Of course", he replied, "Hey, how about, since it's such a hot day, you and I go get changed and we take a walk, maybe go down to the river."

"Ok", I said excitedly, darting off to my room. We had started taking walks together when I was only eight. Something about the open air and the crunch of the grass under our feet made it so much easier for us to talk. The manor could be stifling and certainly we didn't have the best "heart to heart"s on patrol.

Walks gave me a chance to chatter on about my life as we strolled easily through the grounds, no particular pace set and nowhere in particular to go. We shed all our obligations and he would just listen to me talk. I would tell him whatever was going on in my life, good and bad, ask him questions and generally just enjoy his company and the feeling of having him all to myself.

In the manor, he could be called upon by any number of women or clients, on patrol, there were criminals and victims but out here, he was all mine. He would listen as I talked, occasionally making a comment or asking a question, but mostly just smiling and striding easily as if there was nothing he enjoyed more than listening to me and being with me.

Sometimes, we brought a baseball or something to toss around when we got the meadow, a favorite destination of ours, and then we got the chance to romp and play around. I think the fact that Bruce took time out of his busy schedule to do this sort of thing with me at least once a week was one of the reasons he and I remained so close through my teenage years. Our relationship remained easy and unstrained because I had time to tell him everything I needed to.

Usually, when we walked, the air was light and there was a general feeling of contentment and bliss yet today, I could feel a heaviness over the two of us as we trekked beneath the maple trees. "Son", he said slowly, gazing straight ahead, "You know how much I love you, right?"

"Of course", I replied, hop skipping a few steps. I felt a sense of uneasiness creep over me at his words. When he pulled the "I love you" card, something was definitely going down.

"And, I never want anything to happen to you, you know that, don't you?"

"Sure", I said.

"If I ever lost you Dick, I'd die. I can't imagine what I'd do without you and I just want you to be happy."

"Bruce, what is all this about, you're starting to scare me." He turned to me and stopped, his face grave and lined with worry.

"Dick, your counselor called me today at work and told me you were contemplating suicide." I couldn't help it, I burst into laughter. He looked at me bewildered.

"Sorry", I gasped, "I just…it's just…I made up the whole suicide thing just to get out of trouble for beating up Paul Garboni."

"You're telling me the truth", he asked incredulously, "You promise?"

"I swear on my mother's grave", I replied, still giggling, "I can't believe you actually bought that." His face screwed in outrage.

"Dick, I can't believe you would pull something like this", he snapped. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? I was so afraid when I got home, I'd find you'd hung yourself or something. You scared me half to death."

"I'm sorry", I mumbled, "I didn't mean for it to get back to you. I just didn't want to get in trouble, that was all. I wasn't trying to worry you or anything." Bruce gave a sigh of relief and pulled me close, stroking my hair.

"I'm just glad you're ok", he replied, "You have no idea how frightened I was that I'd lose you. You just mean so much to me and I felt awful about breaking off patrol and then I heard about all this suicide stuff and the counselor started talking about a deathapotomus and I was about to cry because I was dead sure you were some kind of freak all of the sudden and I never even noticed." I snickered. "How did you even come up with a deathapotomus?' he asked, holding me at arms length. I shrugged.

"I don't know. But, it's gotten me out of trouble and it keeps stupid Mr. Pringles from bothering me so much. It's pretty useful."

"You're such a bad boy Dick", Bruce said, smacking me lightly on the head.

"Hey", I replied, squirming out of his grasp, "Race you to the river."

"You're on", he replied, and we raced away. Bruce and scrambled over one another down to the river and waded barefoot through it, romping and splashing. We toppled into the shallows, wrestling each other and play sparing as we bounded like young deer through the wood.

This was when I loved Bruce the most, when he played with me. The cold water felt so good with the hot sun beating down on us so we got thoroughly soaked before climbing up the bank and lying down in the shade of a large oak tree on a grassy hill so the sun could dry us. Panting like dogs, we stretched out beneath the leafy branches and the hot sun, grinning at each other as if we were five years old again.

I ran my foot over the cool grass, wiggling my toes in the dirt as I lay next to Bruce, gazing up at the bright blue sky, soft fluffy clouds rolling slowly through it. He had his eyes closed and his breathing was slow. I could tell he was falling asleep. "Hey Bruce" I said.

"Hmm"

"Do you…do you think I'm a good kisser?" Bruce opened one eye and looked at me funny.

"I imagine I wouldn't really know. I don't think your lips and mine have formally met and I'm of the opinion that we should keep it that way." I giggled. "Why the question?" So, I told him about Braxton and what Paul had said. He listened quietly, gazing gently at me as I spoke.

"My poor Dickie", he crooned softly, stroking my hair, "got your heart all broke huh." I nodded and sighed. He ran a thumb over my cheek. "Pay her no mind. I've run into girls like that before. She's not worth your time."

"It's just…I don't like feeling like I'm not good enough for her."

"I think it's the other way around", Bruce replied.

"Well", I muttered good-naturedly, "You're biased."

"And what's wrong with that?" I smirked. "Dick, you're in high school. I'd tell you not to even bother pursing girls but I know you will. Odds are, you won't find anyone worth taking even a second look at until you get to college. Braxton's gonna end up like all of my cover girlfriends, but you're gonna be so much more. You'll find a girl who has more underneath as well, you'll see." I smiled at him.

"Thanks Bruce", I said.

"Anytime", he replied, patting my leg, "Although I know I'm not the best one to go to when you need advice on love." I grinned.

"That's for sure." He rolled his eyes. We were silent for a few minutes, just watching the clouds before I asked my second question. "Bruce, what would you do if I asked for a rifle?"

"Wonder where I went wrong", he replied jokingly. I smiled. "Why the sudden interest though, I mean, you know how I feel about guns?"

"I know", I said, "It's just, everyone at school's been talking about rifles and I feel a little out of the loop."

"I really haven't been there for you lately, have I?" he murmured, "I suppose you've been feeling left out for a while, huh?" I shrugged. "I know because you would never have brought it up unless things really were getting bad." I shrugged again. "I'm sorry I haven't been around as much son."

"Don't be", I replied, "I know you're busy. You have a lot of important stuff to do."

"None as important as you." I smiled and moved over so I could put my head on his chest. This act of tenderness was one I hadn't indulged in for some time, but we were far away from prying, judging eyes and no one, not even Paul, could get to me here. I was free to let my guard down.

That was the nice thing about Bruce; when we were alone together, I didn't have to worry about being anything other than myself. That was all he wanted to see and it would have been out of place for me to put on any of my usual masks anyway. Bruce put an arm around my shoulders and I shifted so I was lying on my side. He pressed me to himself.

"I suppose if you really want one…"

"It's ok", I said quickly, cutting him off, "Its enough to know you would if I asked." He smiled widely at me and kissed my forehead.

"Work's been so tiring lately", he murmured, "Work and the league. It takes a lot of effort to be charming Bruce and hard ass Batman you know." I rolled my eyes. "It's nice to get out and relax here, isn't it?" I nodded.

"You're my best friend Dick", he mumbled softly, as if falling asleep. The words meant twice as much to me as they would coming from anyone else because I knew they were true and I knew what they meant. I was practically his only friend.

"You're my best friend too", I replied quietly, and I closed my eyes. After only a few minutes, I had fallen asleep. Bruce and I often took naps before patrol. It helped to get a few hours of sleep in so I wouldn't fall asleep while we were out. We didn't often take them together anymore though so it was nice to doze with him for a little while before we had to head back.

When I had been younger, he would settle down on the couch and I would climb up onto his chest to doze or he would be lying on his bed and I would snuggle up next to him. Even when I wasn't tired, I enjoyed his steady breathing and the small sounds he made while he slept.


	8. Chapter 8

Bruce woke me after a little while, gently stroking my cheek, and my eyelids fluttered open. The sky was aflame with color as I slowly sat up, stretching and yawning. As the days were lengthening, the sunset got a little later every day and sometimes, I even missed it getting ready for patrol. It was nice to see this one.

Bruce offered me a hand up and we pulled on our shoes before trekking back together the way we came. This time, I exuberantly shared with him everything I had learned in school and all that was going on with my life, to which he listened with an appreciable amount of attention.

Once we were in sight of the manor, I raced him to the door, his jovial laugh rebounding through the halls of Wayne Manor once we passed the threshold. "Now, now boys", Alfred said admonishingly, taking in the sigh of us drenched in sweat and panting in the doorway, "Lets try not to break anything." Bruce and I grinned at each other and, after regaining our breath, walked into the kitchen.

I took in the smell of fried chicken cooking and gave a whoop of pleasure. "Alright chicken!"

"Aww man", Bruce moaned, "Chicken."

"Worry not master Bruce", Alfred said, "Since I know how much you loathe what happens to be master Dick's favorite food, next to Crockies cereal of course (I grinned at this), I made dumplings for you."

"Good", Bruce replied, "I like those." I rolled my eyes.

"How come you're such a picky eater? When I first showed up here, you tried to make me eat the bats in the cave and here you won't even brave fried chicken."

"I'm used to being able to choose my meals so, while I can, I plan to take full advantage of it. Now, lets eat." We both started towards the table, piled high with food that made our mouths water, before Alfred put his hands on our chests, pushing us back.

"Nah ah ah, showers first."

"Aww, come on Alfred", I moaned, "I'm starved."

"Yea, me too", Bruce added. Alfred shook his head.

"Get rid of that awful odor or you don't eat."

"Come one", I said, "this is our man stench, it's a part of us." Bruce grinned.

"Yea Alfred, you can't deny what we are, you can't try to cover up our masculine musk."

"Of course I can, now go."

"I thought you were our servant", I said sassily, "I thought you were supposed to do what we said."

"No, I'm you're babysitter, and lord knows I don't get paid enough to watch you two. Now, go shower." Bruce and I grumbled and rolled our eyes as we stalked off to our respective showers. Once I had thoroughly covered up my "masculine musk", I bounded down the stairs. Bruce was already at the table, practically trembling in anticipation.

"Alfred wouldn't let me eat until you got here", he moaned.

"Aww, poor baby, let me play you a song on the world's smallest violin." I rubbed my thumb and forefinger together, humming a violin tune. Bruce frowned at me and said sharply, "Sit down and eat your chicken." Alfred sat down across from us and watched with a certain level of disdain as we consumed our food as quickly as possible.

"Sometimes I think I live with pigs", he muttered, cutting his meat in the most dignified, British manner he could.

"Oink, oink", I said.

"Snort", Bruce added, his mouth still full of food. Alfred rolled his eyes.

"So", Bruce began when he had swallowed, "What did you do to him?"

"Who?" I asked.

"Paul, what'd you do to him to get back at him?"

"What makes you think I did anything?" I asked innocently.

"I know you", he replied, giving me a shove.

"Well…" I said, and then launched into my tale, eliciting a howl of laughter from Bruce.

"Pretty good kid", he said, ruffling my hair. "I mean, I would have done it with a bit more class, but still…"

"Master Bruce", Alfred said, "I highly doubt we should be encouraging this behavior."

"You're right, bad Dickie. Actually, I'll bet you we get a lawsuit."

"Aww, that's no big deal. After all, you have better lawyers." I replied. Bruce grinned.

"Course I do." It was then that the clock chimed seven. "Uhh Ohh", Bruce said, "we have to go Dick. Finish up." I horked down the rest of my food (Alfred all the while looking darkly at me) and got up. It was then that Bruce spied a plate on the table. Before I could stop him, he let out an elated "Ohh muffins" and took an enormous bite out of the first one.

"It's not my fault Bruce", I snickered repentantly, standing next to him in the bathroom as he leaned over the toilet, retching and making the most awful sounds.

"What the hell are you trying to do boy, poison me?" I giggled. "You never leave a plate of appetizing looking muffins on a table anywhere in my house. That's a rule."

"Since when", I scoffed.

"Since now", Bruce roared. But, I was unfazed by his anger because the next second, he was leaning down again, heaving his guts out and making small whimpering sounds. I patted his back in what was meant to be a consoling sort of manner but ending up doing nothing more than eliciting a baleful look from him.

Finally, he seemed to gain his composure and stood up, wiping his mouth and turning to me, murder in his eyes. "I'm gonna kill you" he hissed, "You are the worst cook in the history of the universe." I giggled.

"It's not my fault. I was making meat muffins and then Paul put sauerkraut, peppers and who knows what else in there. Come to think of it, he probably spit in it too. You know, I wouldn't put it past him to urinate in the batter as well. He's a sick guy, that Paul."

Bruce flexed his shoulders and cracked his knuckles as if he wanted nothing more than to rip my head off before shoving me roughly aside and striding angrily away. "Rude", I muttered under my breath. I followed my mentor into his study where he changed the time of the clock, causing a secret door to swing open which reveled two poles. Bruce and I gripped them and down we slid into the caverns beneath Wayne manor. There were, of course, stairs but the poles were faster and far more fun.

Once we landed, Bruce and I went our separate ways to retrieve our costumes and get changed. Bruce (because to me he was Bruce until he pulled his cowl on, which he hadn't done yet) sat down at his computer and started typing away. I knew he was really pissed because he wasn't even grumbling under his breath about crime or anything. Usually, he muttered a lot, but not today.

I decided just to work out for a while, since it was obvious we weren't patrolling for while, at least until he was sure he had full control of his bowels. I did several back flips, a few handsprings and about a million cartwheels before I decided his anger had gone on for long enough. He was so much better then me at holding a grudge. I couldn't stay mad at anyone for more than like two seconds usually.

"Bruce", I said softly in his ear, crouching next to him. "Bruuuuuuuuce." He pretended he didn't hear me. "Come on Bruce, all you did was eat one of my crappy muffins. Why do you have to get offended so easily? Come on, lighten up, it was an accident."

He snorted and turned away from me. I rolled my eyes. "Bruce", I said, putting my arms around his neck, "Come on." I rubbed my head against his, nuzzling his shoulder. "Don't make me do the eyes", I whispered in his ear. I could feel him softening up already. All he needed was just a little more. I kissed his cheek and then slithered over onto his lap.

"Best daddy ever", I whispered, settling in, "I love you soooooooooooo much." He pretended like he didn't notice me there, but I could see the corners of his mouth turning upward into a smile and I knew I almost had him. I sat up, and faced him, nibbling my bottom lip and giving him the eyes I always did when I was little and about to burst into repentant tears.

"Damn you Dick", he snapped, putting his arms tightly around me, "I hate you so much. You have me wrapped around your finger and you know it too."

"Yup", I said. It's actually a lot easier than you'd think to get the Batman to stop being mad at you. It just takes a little bit of snuggling and some major sucking up. He gave a sigh.

"Lets go on patrol", he said.

"Yippee", I squealed, jumping up off his lap and bounding over to the Batmobile, him in my wake.

"Now, do be careful Master Bruce", Alfred called after us, try not to injure yourself or Master Dick too much this evening.

"I'll try", Bruce called, ruffling my hair as I jumped into the front seat. He hopped in next to me and pulled on his cowl, magically transforming into the Dark Knight of Gotham before my very eyes.

"Can I drive", I asked.

"Hah, that's funny Robin." I folded my arms foul naturedly.

"You're so mean", I muttered.

"I know", he replied, "I'm vicious."

"Just routine patrol?" I asked.

"Unless Gordon calls us."

"Ohh look." I gazed up at the cloudy sky, for the batmobile had just hurtled out of the cave, and saw the bat symbol, floating above us in the sky. "Guess not."


	9. Chapter 9

"Commissioner", Batman rasped.

"Damn it Batman", Gordon growled, "You're going to give me a heart attack." Only I noticed the tiny smile creeping over Batman's face. It's a little known fact that Batman loves to frighten Gordon, even if he acts all cool like he doesn't care either way. It just makes his day to step out of those shadows and growl at the Commissioner.

Another funny thing is Batman hasn't figured out yet that the Commissioner doesn't actually freak out at his appearance any more. He just pretends he does because he knows how much Batman enjoys scaring him, which is just one more reason why Gordon is so cool.

"What's the crisis?" Batman asked, stepping out of the shadows. I hopped after him.

"Hello Robin", Gordon said, smiling at me. I smiled back.

"Hi", I said. That was another thing I liked about Gordon, he acknowledged me as a separate entity and not just as an extension of Batman. He always said hello.

"Well", Gordon continued, "it's Two Face again. He just got out of Arkham, broke out actually."

"Great", Batman growled, "Are those cells made of paper?"

"Sometimes I think so", Gordon grumbled, "Anyway, keep an eye out for him while you're patrolling." Batman nodded and, with that, ghosted away into the night. I grinned at Gordon and he ruffled my hair. Then, I bounded after Batman.

The night air felt amazing as we flew over the city, I in Batman's wake. We landed lightly on a rooftop before taking off again, floating through the air like dark angels. Just as we were leaning foreward into a downward arc, I heard a scream over my shoulder.

Knowing I should probably consult Batman but figuring he had heard it too, I soared to the source of the noise. It was a girl, frightened and alone, surrounded by a group of boys with knives. Now, I knew this gang. I'd run undercover with then for a while once even. I knew they weren't really bad kids.

In fact, probably all they'd do is ruff her up a bit and take her purse. She didn't know that, however and I figured breaking the law was breaking the law. Swooping down, I landed between the girl and the boys. "Alright guys", I said, "go on, get out of here. Don't make me fight you tonight. We both know how that's gonna end." The boys looked at each other and then looked back at me.

"Aww Robin, we weren't gonna do nothen'. She shouldn't be in our territory at night this late anyway. I mean, we were like protecting her, you know." I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, well, she's under my protection now so go on." I waved my hand dismissively and reluctantly, they walked off, gazing back wistfully at the girl behind me. It was then she seemed to gain the balls she didn't possess before and her shrill voice lit up the night.

"That's right, you go you stupid street bastards. Don't let me see your sorry asses around here again or my daddy'll sue you so bad." I wheeled around in shock.

"Braxton!"

"You know me", she said, confused. Then, her eyes narrowed seductively.

"Well", she murmured, "My gallant hero." Her thin fingers walked up my arm until she had her skinny arms wrapped around my neck. "Hello boy wonder or should I say", she glanced me over, "man wonder." I started to feel sick.

"Look ma'am", I said in my deepest voice, "What are you doing in this part of town?"

"Well", she said slowly, "my boyfriend was supposed to meet me down here so we could… well, you know…" She batted her eyelashes provocatively and I felt the urge to hurl. Why had I fallen for this whore? "But", she continued, "now that you're here…" quick as a flash, she wrapped her legs around my middle and tossed her hair back.

"Come on Robin", she whispered, hauling herself up on me, "take me."

"Ma'am", I said stiffly, "seriously ma'am, get off me." I tried to shove her off, but she was wound tight as a python. It was then that I noticed Batman in the shadows. He had this big, amused grin on his face. I scowled at him, causing him to snicker even more. "Help", I mouthed to the shadows. He rolled his eyes and glided out, sneaking up behind Braxton just as she was starting to make out with my neck. What was wrong with this chick?

Batman grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and hauled her off me. She gave a squeal of terror and was left hanging from Batman's outstretched arm. I felt a little bit of sympathy (I had hung from there quite a few times) but that faded as soon as she opened her mouth. "Unhand me you urchin. My daddy's gonna sue your ass until you don't have one anymore."

"Shut up", Batman growled, "And don't ever slither like that over my partner again worm." She whimpered and trembled a little like a wet rat.

"Alright", I said smoothing out my costume, "Who's your boyfriend?"

"Paul Garboni", she replied, "Would you put me down."

"You liked this", Batman mouthed to me. I shrugged.

"She's hot."

"Well thank you", Braxton said, voice dripping with seduction. I rolled my eyes.

"Ok look, let me lay it out for you lady. Batman is my gay lover and I like men." The look of outrage on that girl's face was priceless at that point. "Now that we have that out of the way, where is Paul?"

"I don't know", she whimpered, looking incredibly depressed all of the sudden, "he was supposed to be here."

"Well", I said, "lets see if we can't find him." Batman looked at me.

"You really wanna comb this whole area? I mean, if he came down to this part of town, he's probably dead by now." Braxton gave a sound like a wounded hippo.

"I have an idea", I replied. Batman put Braxton down rather unceremoniously.

"Stick close", he ordered, "if you want to live." The girl needed no more encouragement and tangled her fingers in Batman's cape.

"Hey Santi", I called, crouching down, "Come here buddy." Slowly, the small Hispanic boy raised himself up out from behind a few trashcans. "Come here", I repeated, grinning widely and opening my arms, "haven't seen you in ages kiddo." Santi, seeing I wasn't angry with him, darted out from his hiding place and launched himself into my embrace.

"Robin", he squealed excitedly, throwing his arms around my neck. I giggled and stood up, putting a hand beneath him to support him.

"Where's your mom?" I asked.

"'way", he replied, "I's out here 'cause I seen something."

"Little rat", Braxton muttered darkly. I wheeled around, eyes flashing angrily.

"Don't you dare call him that you slut", I hissed, "he's ten times the human being you'll ever be." Santi cowered a little in my arms and Batman gave me a look that said plainly, "cool it", but I was so sick of Braxton and her pathetic attempts at superiority. Braxton gave me an outraged look and fell silent.

"Ignore her", I said to Santi, "she's a nobody."

"Is she your girlfriend?" Santi asked softly. I laughed.

"'course not, you know your big sis is the only girl for me."

"'I hasn't seen her since the scary man came." I frowned at this.

"What scary guy?"

"The one that took the boy."

"Stupid looking white kid about this tall?" I asked, lifting one hand. Santi nodded.

"The scary man took him", he whispered, burrowing deeper into my arms like he wanted me to protect him, "right over there." One chubby hand reached out from my embrace and pointed.

"What scary man?" I asked.

"The one with the scary face." I snorted.

"Well, there are a lot of people with scary faces around here."

"Only one side of his face was scary", Santi whispered, "like a demon." I looked up at Batman.

"Sounds like Two Face got your boyfriend", he said to Braxton.

"Is he gonna die?" Braxton asked frightenedly.

"Maybe not", I replied, "thanks kiddo, you've been a big help."

"Did you see where the scary guy went?"

"He got in a car with the other ones and drove that way." He pointed down the north alley. I grinned and ruffled his hair.

"Thanks buddy. How long's it been since you ate?"

"'while", he replied. I tugged a twenty out of my pocket.

"Give this to your mama and tell her it's from me." He nodded and grasped the money tightly in his little fist. I put him down on the ground and he scurried off.

"Bye bye Robin, thanks." I waved back and watched him until he had metled into the darkness and was out of sight.

"Two Face", Batman growled, "we'd better get going." He turned to Braxton. "Get home and don't let me catch you in this part of town again." Braxton nodded swiftly and took off at a run in the opposite direction. "I'll shadow her", Batman said, "make sure she gets home, see what you can find." I nodded and took off in the direction Santi had pointed.

I found evidence of a struggle and a few scraps of expensive clothing. Paul had been here. Sniffing around a bit more, I came across something some black dust within the retreating tracks of the vehicle. It was rather fine, not particularly remarkable on it's own. Regardless, I swept a bit into a vial for analysis back at the cave.

On a whim I pulled out my Geiger counter and swept it over the sample. The device went crazy. "Whoa", I said softly.

"What?" Batman asked, alighting behind me.

"Did Braxton get back?" I asked. Batman nodded.

'She got a cab. I can only assume she'll go home. What did you find?"

"This dust", I replied, "it's highly radioactive."

"Where'd you find it?"

"The tracks." I indicated where the dust had been located and Batman swept over. He nodded a moment later, confirming what I'd thought before.

"Strange", he murmured, "lets go back to the cave and check it out."

"I already took a sample", I offered. He smiled.

"Good boy, lets get going." I followed him back to where we'd left the car and hopped in next to him. We sped back off to the cave.

"Why would Two Face have taken Paul?" I mused quietly. Batman shrugged.

"If he suspected the boy was a rich kid, he might hold him for ransom."

"I'll call Gordon and ask if there were any ransom demands." Batman nodded and I phoned Gordon. A few moments on the phone confirmed no ransom demands had been made, or at least none that had been called in. I frowned and repeated the information back to Batman. He shook his head in consternation.

"But, you know what else is bothering me?" I continued.

"What?" Batman asked.

"Santiago's sister, Cecilia. You think maybe Twoface took her too?"

"I don't see why he would. He knows he wouldn't get any money out of her. Lets just check the samples and worry about where Two Face and Paul are now." I sighed and gazed out the window and the dark city rushing by.

Batman reached out and cupped my face in one hand. "Look son, if you'd rather look around for Cece, I mean, I know saving Paul isn't your top priority and you've done so well already." I smiled.

"It's ok Batman, CeCe's probably fine. And, if I'm right, where Paul is, she is. Thanks though." Batman smiled gently in reply and ruffled my hair just as we flew into the cave.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: I don't know if anyone's still interested in this story, but I enjoy writing it so it will continue to get posted. Someone will read it. **

"Alfred", I yelled, "Did you bake any cookies?"

"Yes Master Dick", Alfred said, coming over, "chocolate chip, just as you requested. However, I believe you might contaminate the sample you are working on if you choose to consume any at this time." I rolled my eyes.

"Alfred's right", Batman said from where he was quietly titrating an aqueous sample of the solution. I was supposed to be titrating mine as well, but those cookies were calling me. "Finish up first." I grumbled and finished my titration. The final solution didn't turn the phenolphthalein pink so I assumed it was not in that particular range of basicity.

"Didn't work Batman", I called, "Can I have cookies now?" Batman rolled his eyes.

"Sure, go get one."

"Yippee", I called and bounded over. Alfred smirked and handed me a couple of cookies. I stuffed my face.

"Dick, next titration." I gave an annoyed sound and bounded over to where the chemicals were after getting a quick cuddle from Alfred in thank you for the cookies.

"Hah, hah!" Batman said, "Got it!" I scurried over.

"I got it to react with the acid. I just need to run a few more tests. You're done Dick, you can go play."

"I don't play anymore. I'm a man." I replied haughtily, and then ran off to hook up my X-box to the Bat computer.

After about ten minutes, Batman was pacing around excitedly. "Alright, I think I've figured out where Two Face is."

"Where", I asked, shutting down my X-box.

"That old mine at the head of the northern Gotham harbor is the only place that would still have trace, unrefined elements of this nature. Also, that mine belongs to Mr. Garboni, Paul's father." I raised my eyebrows.

"Interesting, I wonder what Two Face's game is."

"I don't know just yet but come on Robin, the game's afoot." I rolled my eyes and hopped in the car.

"Don't ever say that again. I'm the one with the bad puns and the cliché phrases, remember?" Batman smirked at me, revved the engine and off we went. Parking a ways away from the mine under a dusky, waxing moon, Batman and I crept on our bellies towards the mine after securing the car.

While contorting my body to creep along comfortably in such a way came natural, Batman found it a bit harder. Because I was right next to him, I could hear his tiny intakes of breath as his limbs misbehaved and he was forced to bring them back under his control. I grinned quietly to myself. I was an acrobat.

The sea breeze buffeted my hair and filled my nostrils, but not so much that I didn't catch a tinge of quarry smell, which grew steadily stronger as time wore on and we got closer. Once we got within about half a mile from the mine, we started hearing yelling.

The voice was obviously Two Face's but I couldn't make anything of what he was saying. Obviously, from the look on Batman's face, he couldn't either. As we made headway, the madman's words became clearer. "So Garboni, we'll just let fate decide then huh. At midnight, when the moon is directly over us in the sky, half dark, half light, a Two Face night, one of these two will die."

Batman and I climbed up one side of the hill behind the mine, our heads below the waving grass line. I almost cried out; it was such a sight. Two Face stood in the very center of the mine with Paul on one side and Cecilia, Santiago's sister, on his other. Both were bound hand and foot.

Cecilia was gagged and tears were streaming down her dark cheeks. She looked frightened to death. I knew she expected no rescue. Paul's father stood by the entrance of the mine, wringing his hands and looking terribly nervous. Even Paul looked frightened, an expression I had never seen. His hair, however, still stood as I had left it. That brought a smile to my lips, despite the circumstances.

"You'll remember Garboni", Two Face sneered, knocking his gun against Paul's skull, "two years ago, before I was again sent to Arkham, we had a deal. This mine was supposed to be a joint enterprise. Your greed sent me to Arkham yet again and now, it shall send your son or this girl to their deaths right here.

The police have been called. They'll arrive in around thirty minutes and they will find either the body of a young girl right here on your property or the body of your son, a gun in your hands. I'll be long gone. So, who's the lucky victim? Scarred side, I shoot your bouncing baby brat. Unscarred, the girl gets it."

Two Face gave Cecilia a rough shove with the toe of his boot, eliciting a frightened whimper from the girl. "Please Two Face", Mr. Garboni said desperately, "Please don't do this. I can pay you anything you'd like, anything." As Mr. Garboni continued to beg, Batman and I formulated the plan.

"Statistically", Batman began, "both should have an equal chance, but the scarred side, because it's lighter after having been carved up, has a better chance of coming up. Therefore, Paul is the most likely target. Go for him first. I know you're concerned for Cecelia, but I doubt Two Face really wants her dead. He'd rather take Paul."

I nodded. "You'll be taking the goons?"

"Yes", Batman answered, "So I would appreciate your hurrying so I can have your help." I must have looked a little worried at this plan (after all, there were over a dozen henchmen and he is only one dude) because he raised one gloved hand and ran it gently through my hair, cupping my face in his palm. "I'll be careful, I promise."

"Fine", I whispered, "You gonna create a distraction?" Batman grinned.

"The more theatrical the better." With that, he leapt into the circle. "Two Face", he snarled, voice low and gravelly, "Your duplicitous double dealing of death is done."

"Eat metal Bat breath", Two Face roared without missing a beat, and his goons opened fire. I couldn't bring myself to even glance in his direction with all those men gunning for him. It always made my stomach churn when people shot at him because I was just so afraid one day he wouldn't be able to dodge every single one of those bullets and a lucky shot might take him, leaving me alone again.

I ignored this fear, however, and went to free the hostages. Cecilia I went to first. I knew Batman had told me to free Paul, but I just couldn't, at least, not before I freed the more deserving of the two hostages. Now, Bruce would tell me both of them deserved life equally, but he had never been subject to Paul's constant ridicule so he had no reason to even open his mouth.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me and, as soon as I had the gag off, she started rattling off a thousand and one thank you's in Spanish. I finished untying her and told her to get clear. She didn't need to be told twice. One quick peck on the cheek for me and she was away like a shadow in sunlight.

I moved over to Paul. "Hurry up Robin", he snapped angrily, "Do you want me to get shot?" I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to answer the question.

"Shut up", I growled, "or I'm leaving you here and telling Batman I couldn't save you in time." Paul went stiff and fell silent. I finished unbinding him and yelled for him to get the hell clear. He tripped over himself.

"Spoony", I grumbled to myself, and then giggled because spoony was officially the word of the day. Once Paul was free, I rushed to leap into the fray, landing at on Batman's left. He was wheeling about at top speed, attacking from all sides at once, a great shadow in the night.

Watching him fight always quieted me and when I had been younger and he wasn't home, I would lie on the couch in front of the TV and watch tapes of him fighting crooks. It was as if seeing him so capable and in his zone would soothe me enough to assure me he was safe. I just loved watching him work.

"Hey Batman", I said, leaping over to stand back to back with him, "Spoony is the word of the day."

"Spoony", Batman grunted without breaking stride, "Archaic Diction. A nown. A silly or foolish person. An adjective, to act silly or foolish. Derivatives; spooniness; spoonily." I pouted and slid between his legs to kick a goon that was reaching up from the ground to strike him.

"You're no fun." He gave me the tiniest grin and grabbed my arm so he could swing me around towards some more goons. I loved that move because, after all, there's nothing better in the world than flying through the air. "No", Two Face howled, "You're ruining everything."

Mr. Garboni, seeing his son was safe, rushed off, tripping over his own two feet in his haste to escape. "Want me to get him Boss?" I asked, locking arms with Batman back to back so I could get my feet off the ground and do some kicking. He released me and I slid low, kicking some guy's shin really hard. He howled and hopped on one foot, which I swiped out from under him.

"Nah", Batman replied, "He's not going anywhere." I climbed up his back like a monkey, flipped off his shoulders and kicked a few goons in the face. After a moment more fighting, they were all down for the count.

"Get Two Face", Batman yelled at me, because I was closer. The madman rushed away, shooting blindly behind him. I snaked low and slithered, kicking him hard in the back. He toppled right into Batman's chest and fell still, leaving a slimy trail of drool all over the bat emblem. Batman made a face and shoved the guy off.

The police sirens echoed in the night just as we finished up. I was panting heavily and shaking from the exertion, but my muscles, while aching, trembled pleasantly in that way that makes working out almost worth it. Batman put a hand on my shoulder. "Did you get hit?" he asked. I shook my head. "Good boy", he said, rubbing my shoulder's "Good boy."

"That was so cool", I heard an elated voice yelp. Wheeling around, I saw Kid Flash vibrating in place next to the Flash.

"KF", I exclaimed joyfully, bounding up to greet him. We did our standard bro hug and faced each other, big grins painted across both our faces.

"It's been a long time since I've seen you and him in action together", he said excitedly, totally fanboying me for a minute. "Man, you guys are good."

"How long you been there", I asked.

"About ten minutes", Flash replied, putting a hand on my shoulder, "we thought about intervening, but I kinda knew Batman would probably resent me for it and you two were handling things quite neatly anyway." Batman went up to shake Flash's hand, face slightly harder than it had been before. One of the weird things about Batman is that he hates having metahumans in his city. He doesn't particularly trust them outside his city anyway, but inside is off limits.

The fact that Flash hadn't intervened in our fight was probably quite prudent of him. Batman didn't really mind the Flash. In fact, of all the metas, he was probably one of the ones he trusted the most, but it was the principal of the thing. We were at the city limits, but it didn't matter. I knew my pig headed mentor was going to do his best to get the Scarlet Speedster out as quickly as possible. No small talk for the Batman.

"Why are you two here", Batman asked, his voice gruff and slightly confrontational.

"The league needs you", Flash replied, fondling my hair affectionately, "We tried calling, but you didn't answer and it's kind of important. Something about Gorilla Grod." Batman rolled his eyes.

"Stupid ape. Alright, I'll call my jet."

"Ok", Flash agreed, "I'll meet you at the Hall."

"Can I ride with Batman?" Kid Flash asked, "Please."

"You can just run there cheetah", Flash said, "And anyway, I don't think Batman wants you in his plane. That thing only has two seats if I'm not mistaken."

"He can come if he wants", Batman replied, "he and Robin can just share. Neither of them is too big."

"Yes!" I said, slapping a high five with KF.

"Although", Batman added snidely, "All those chocolate chip cookies from Alfred might have expanded the size of your ass." I shot Batman a dark look and the Flashes snorted.

"Alright", Flash said, "See you there." With that, he sped off. KF and I chattered excitedly about how our days had been as Batman pressed a button on his belt to first send the car home and second call the plane. KF gave out a shout of laughter when I told him about Paul's new hair.

"I wanna see", he said.

"I took pictures", I replied wickedly, and whipped out my phone.

"Hey", Batman snapped, "What have I told you about phones on patrol?"

"Not to", I mumbled, doing my best to look repentant.

"You're going to drop that one day and the whole world is gonna know who you are. Give me that."

"Aww, come on", I moaned, "I'm not gonna drop it." But, he snatched it from me. "You can have it back at home." I cast him a couple dark looks and folded my arms just as the plane came down, hovering beside us.

"Batman, Batman, can I drive please", I pleaded suddenly, completely forgetting I had been angry with him around three seconds before.

"Yea", KF said excitedly, "I wanna see you drive Robin." I gave Batman my most pleading look, hopping up and down with my bottom lip stuck out and my eyes as big as I could make them.

Batman heaved an enormous sigh, muttered softly under his breath several times that he was going to regret his decision and said, "Alright, but be careful." I did a few elated back flips and darted into the front seat.

"Ok Kid Flash", Batman said, "I guess that puts you on my lap, come on." He scooped up Kid and held onto him as he climbed into the seat next to me, settling down with the junior speedster perched on his lap.

"Betcha if Wonder Woman knew", I said sassily to KF, checking my dials, "She'd wish she was you right now." KF giggled and Batman rolled his eyes, although I could definitely see a small twinkle there.

"Drive carefully", my worrywart mentor warned, tightening the straps around him self and Kid, "if anything happens to this one, his uncle will kill me."

"Nah", KF replied, "he'll probably be happy he doesn't have to teach me how to drive. He's supposed to start next week. My dad specifically asked that he do it and it's freaking the hell out of him."

"Hmm", I said, raising my eyebrows at Batman, "Driving, I wonder when a certain someone with small black pointy ears is going to teach me."

"When you're thirty," Batman replied flatly, "Go ahead and turn her on. Clark's probably getting antsy already."

"Yea", KF added, "He was practically bouncing off the walls when we were at the Hall." I obediently started the engine and instructed the plane to hover. Batman put his arms tightly around KF and looked nervous.

"Alright, take her away", he said lightly. Slowly, the mighty ship rose into the air, hovering for a moment in place before it dropped like a stone. KF screamed and I frantically pulled the joystick up, pointing the nose towards the sky. It's ok, I said as soothingly as I could, we're fine. KF gripped Batman's arm's, casting him a frantic glance.

"It's alright", Batman said gently, "I have my hand on the ejector seat with the parachutes."

"I heard that", I growled.

"Robin", Batman yelled, "you're going too high." It was then that I realized I had forgotten to actually tell the plane to go straight. I shoved the joystick downward, sending her plummeting nose first towards the ground.

"Pull up", Batman yelled.

"Gee", I grumbled, "Would you settle down, I've got everything under control." I actually am not that bad of a pilot so I don't know why both of them looked so wide eyed when I landed. I thought KF's queasy look was uncalled for as well.

"See", I said, nothing to worry about.

"Sure", Batman said quietly, releasing KF before hurling over the side of the Batwing. My friend bounced out of the plane and waited patiently for me so we could rush into the Hall together.


	11. Chapter 11

The Hall of Justice is an enormous building, one it would take me forever to explore. Beautiful in it's own way, it stood as a tribute to peace and justice. Towering over any neighboring buildings, which were few and far between, it seemed to almost to glower at the rest of the city, daring the citizens to commit some crime under it's silent watch. It was a rather daunting building and, when I had been younger, I didn't like it. Now, however, I had grown used to it.

"Hiya Superman", I said brightly, bounding up to his side to say hello. Superman ruffled my hair.

"Your mentor here kiddo?" he asked. I nodded.

"He's coming." A moment later, Batman was in the hall. Now, things always change when Batman comes in a room. The entire aura of the place changes and you know he's around. I was used to it. In fact, I loved it. Some of the other leaguers, Green Lantern for instance, didn't.

"What took you so long?" he growled. Batman narrowed his eyes angrily, but pretended like GL didn't exist and went straight up to Superman.

"What's the situation?" he asked. Green Lantern, annoyed at being ignored, shot me a dirty look, as if it were all my fault (I'm easier to hold a grudge against because I'm smaller and less threatening), and went up to Superman in order to include himself in the conversation.

"Well…" I decided to ignore Superman, mostly because Aqualad, Speedy and Wonder Girl were also present and I wanted to go say hello.

"Hi guys", I exclaimed excitedly, "What's up?" Speedy shrugged.

"Something with Gorilla Grod. I don't know why we were brought along though."

'Maybe they need us", Aqualad said hopefully. I shrugged.

"Batman usually brings me either way." I think he does it just to piss GL off. Wonder Girl grinned.

"It certainly does."

"Hey", Aqualad said, "When are we gonna have another Titans meeting. I look foreward to those." They all gazed expectantly at me because I was normally the one that called the meetings, but I just shrugged.

"I haven't had a lot of time lately, sorry guys. But, how's about we get together sometime this week."

"Ok", they all replied. Now, titans meetings are not like Justice League meetings. See, sometimes, we cruise around looking for a crime to fight, but a lot of the time, we just hang out, throw things at each other, eat ad play video games, you know, normal teenage stuff.

"We can do something fun", KF said.

"Not eating", the rest of us replied in unison. KF rolled his eyes. Right at that moment, Batman called me over. I bounded up like a puppy and faced them.

"Alright", Batman said, "We have to take out Gorilla Grod. Because you weren't paying attention, I'm going to give you a quick briefing now. Gorilla Grod is on a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean.

Now, he's holed up there with an army and several hostages. We can't commit to a frontal assault because of the hostages so what I want is for you Robin, and your team to go through the back of the island and free the hostages, get them to a safe place, and get back to help us fight the rest of Grod's gorilla army. We'll be creating a kind of distraction." I nodded.

"Sounds good to me. How're we gonna get the people off the island?"

"There'll be a boat", Batman replied, "try to get them as far as possible before coming back and radio from the boat when you're a safe distance from shore." I could see the troubled look in Batman's eyes. He didn't particularly want me to come back and I knew nothing would please him more than for me to just stay away and let him take on Grod, but nothing could keep me from his side and he knew that.

"Everyone good?" I asked my team. They all nodded exuberantly, pleased to have a chance to work with the Justice League. We didn't often get to work side by side with them, well, no members other than our mentors anyway, and everyone reveled in the chance to show off.

"Alright", Batman said, "Robin, take the sub and be careful." I nodded and bounded off to get the spare sub kept in the Hall.

"He looked worried", Wonder Girl said, striding next to me. I nodded.

"It'll be fine though, you riding in the sub with me?"

"Yea", she affirmed, "so's KF probably and Speedy, unless there's an arrow sub." I grinned and turned to Speedy.

"Not as far as I know", he replied. I giggled.

"Arrow'll have one soon enough. He always copies off Batman."

"Yea", KF agreed, "Did you see the look on his face when Batman mentioned "the sub"."

"Alright, alright guys", Speedy said, "lets just go." The others and I grinned wickedly at each other, for the topic was in no way closed, and trotted down to the sub. Aqualad leapt into the water, submerging.

"I'll swim alongside", he said. I nodded and started up the sub. Flipping a few switches, I instructed her to dive and silently, she slipped beneath the waves, headed downward. Soon enough, we were cruising along the bottom of the ocean.

KF started to fidget, never a big fan of being underwater, but I just relaxed and piloted, grinning at Aqualad as he slid smoothly by through the water. Sometimes, I envied him being able to so effortlessly slip between two worlds, the water and the land.

In fact, I envied pretty much all my super powered friends. I wished I could fly like Wonder Girl, run like KF, swim like Aqualad, lift things like Superman, shape shift like Martian Manhunter or even stretch like Plastic Man. I mean, I was so grateful for what I did have and could do, which was a lot, but sometimes I thought it might be nice not to have to train quite as hard as I did.

I worked my butt off to do what I did and if I didn't I would sink into that place where normal humans are. I had never voiced such things to Batman. Somehow, wishing to be more than what he could ever achieve felt wrong and I always felt guilty entertaining such thoughts.

I wondered if he ever did, you know, wish he was more than what he was. Batman is, by far, the most amazing creature I've ever met but he's still only human. Shaking my head to ward off those thoughts, since I really did have to stay focused, I urged the sub off through the sea.

It was a rather quick vehicle, the fastest in all the sea probably, but it still took us about an hour to make it to the island. Aqualad had to catch a ride on the hull a couple times, growing tired trying to go as fast as we were. By the time we reached the island, Speedy could see the battle up above us through the periscope. Obviously, Superman had sped the league to location rather quickly.

"The distraction seems to be going pretty well", Speedy said, "but they're obviously holding back quite a bit."

"Can you see Batman?" I asked, trying to keep the tiny sliver of worry out of my voice.

"Not yet", Speedy replied. Batman had ordered radio silence until we had the hostages at a safe distance from the island, but it took ever fiber of my restraint not to call and see if he was ok. "Wait", Speedy amended, "there's his plane. It looks fine, undamaged. Although not quite as impressive as the Arrow Plane."

"Please", I replied sarcastically, "the Batplane is way cooler than the Arrow Plane. There's just no contest."

"Guys", Wonder Girl said, "we kind of have a job to do." I rolled my eyes.

"You're such a nag", KF whined. She frowned and put her hands on her hips.

"Men", she grumbled, "You're all the same." We boys smirked and Aqualad pounded against the glass, annoyed at not being included. I waved my hand dismissively at him and stopped the sub. Now, it was Aqualad's turn to do the heavy lifting.

The aquatic boy took off swiftly, poking around at the base of island in search of an entrance. If he couldn't find one, we'd have to do our best to sneak up on land and try to get through the jungle. That was not a pleasant prospect in the slightest and I did not look foreward to having to brave those uncertain depths.

It was strange to see the sunlight flickering downward through the shallow sea, because in Gotham right now, it was already dark. Here, however, it was mid morning. A shark swam by, gazing interestedly at the sub before pursing some fish. Seaweed waved quietly in the currents, interrupted every so often by small crabs, clinging to the fronds and scuttling along the rocks. It was quite beautiful under the ocean and I almost wished Batman and I spent more time here.

A moment later, Aqualad popped out of a cave and motioned frantically for us to enter. I urged the sub foreward and it went, silently sliding through the water like a ghost. Now was the time for stealth.

A small pocket of air greeted us once we were inside the cavern. It seemed fairly disserted but with the ceiling so low, the periscope was useless and we were forced to rely on Aqualad's hand signals. He showed us a good place to park and waited as I opened the first set of doors.

"Looks like we're swimming guys", I said, grabbing a rebreather out of my belt. They all nodded, though KF didn't look particularly pleased with the idea. "I have an extra bat rebreather Speedy, if you need one", I said sarcastically.

"Hah, hah", he replied, "I have an Arrow rebreather." I passed a device to KF and Wonder Girl.

"Now", I said, "remember, you only get thirty breaths so make 'em count." They both nodded and I took a moment to mentally prepare myself for the chill of the water. It was bound to be freezing and I wasn't looking foreward to getting my costume wet at all.

"Go", I said. Wonder Girl pressed the button and the hatch opened. Water began to flood the compartment at a swift pace, making it all but impossible to escape from it. Waiting until the stream of water slowed and I had a chance of getting out, I took a final breath of air and clamped down on the mouthpiece of my rebreather before sliding swiftly out of the hatch. The others followed a moment later. Aqualad dove down to meet us, grabbing my hand and Speedy's so he could tow us along a little faster. Speedy didn't look particularly pleased about this, but we were the slowest swimmers of the group and thirty breaths didn't go all that far.

Just as I felt my lungs were about to burst, Aqualad surfaced, dragging us upwards. We all treaded water together beneath a rock ceiling, which practically scrapped the top of my head. It was so dark, I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face, much less the others, so I cracked a glow stick and held it up, allowing it to illuminate my friends' faces.

KF was gasping frantically and clung to Aqualad, doing his best to keep himself above water. Obviously, he wasn't used to using a device like a rebreather and hadn't rationed his breaths all that well. The others looked no worse for wear. "Are you ok?" I asked him. He nodded and slowly brought his breathing back under control.

"Where are we?" Wonder Girl asked. I shook my head, indicating I knew about as much as she did, and turned to Aqualad.

"There's a hole down there somewhere that will take us into the main complex where they're holding the hostages. Let me go down and relocate it before I lead you guys." I nodded and put my arm around KF to support him as Aqualad went down.

"I'm fine Robin", Kid snapped, although by the way his arm was wrapped around my neck, he was more tired than he cared to let on.

"Sure", Speedy replied, "That's why you were hanging all over Garth like a drunk prom date."

"I was not", KF snapped.

"You kinda were Kid", I said.

"Yea", Speedy continued, "now you're doing the same to Robin."

"I am not", KF growled.

"Ohh grow up guys", Wonder Girl said, "Come here KF, I'll hold onto you."

"I'm fine", he replied, releasing me with a dark look. Speedy and I snickered. Aqualad resurfaced, shaking out his hair like a dog after a bath.

"Garth", I growled, "I'm wet enough thank you."

He smirked condescendingly and said, "I found the tunnel. Who wants to go with me first?"

"I will", I replied, "I'd like to scout the perimeter before loud mouth arrow boy over here alerts the whole base that we're here."

"Hey", Speedy snapped, "that's so not true."

"He's right Speedy, they should change your name to Noisy", KF said. Aqualad snickered and wrapped an arm around my waist. I put my arms around his neck and took a deep breath before plunging beneath the water level again. I knew trying to help Aqualad swim would be pretty useless, so I just clung on and let him swim as swiftly as he could down to the tunnel.

After a moment, we were in and he had given me a shove onto land. "You ok?" he asked, climbing up onto shore next to me. I nodded, regaining my breath quickly enough.

"Go get the others but tell them to stay here. I'm gonna have a look around." Aqualad nodded and went back under the water. I held up the glow stick and slowly picked my way across the floor of the cave, minding the uncertain terrain. It was good to be on my feet again and not treading water. I kept to the wall, trailing slowly down the curves of the tunnel and, after a few moments, I came across a door. I could find no writing or markings on it, though I checked rather painstakingly, and finally decided it was worth the risk to open.

Slowly, I pushed it open, ready at any moment to leap behind the wall to avoid gunfire. But, there was none. Once the door was all the way open for almost a minute, I poked my head out the doorway. At first, I saw nothing but a large empty room. There were a few vehicles and some boxes piled in a corner, but nothing particularly remarkable. Then, I noticed the apes.

There were four of them, standing in a circle as if guarding something. Each was larger than any normal ape and hefted a large semi-automatic. Wondering what they could be doing, I stalked on all fours behind some boxes. One of the apes moved to scratch his hairy ass and I noticed a frightened looking young woman behind him. "The hostages", I whispered to myself.

Alright, I needed to make a plan. I had to figure out what we were going to do. Apes were hard to handle without guns, which they happened to have, (How does an ape get a gun anyway? Who sells a gun to giant ape?) so I would need to be sneaky about this. Slowly, I skulked back into the cave, where my friends were shivering and dripping on the shore, Aqualad floating philosophically beside them.

"Alright guys", I said, coming up, "There are four apes in there with semi-auto's guarding several hostages. I wasn't able to count how many but I figure we need a plan. Come on." I led them down the tunnel, trying to ignore Wonder Girl's grumbling about how much she hated being wet. And she'd said we were being immature?

Crouching together behind the boxes, I gave them a few hand signals, instructing them on what they needed to do. Nodding in agreement, each went off to fulfill his or her part of the plan. Only Aqualad was left behind, given instructions to ready the boat we were taking out of here, which had been skillfully hidden on the back of the island by Batman when the assault had first started.

He wasn't too pleased by this, since he wanted to see some fighting action too, but he was the only one who could swim well enough to make it back, so I had sent him, grumbling, to the place where the boat was hidden. We would have taken the people in the sub, but we weren't sure how many there would be or what condition they would be in. A swim through the cold, dark water was not ideal for a person in a medical emergency.

Wonder Girl took flight, silent as an owl, and hovered in the darkest corner of the room, hoping not to be seen. Speedy slunk around the left and I crept to the right, KF on my heels. Then, I gave the signal and all hell broke loose. Wonder Girl swooped down grabbing the first ape and hauling him up to the ceiling before dropping him hard. He landed heavily, gave a groan and fell unconscious.

By this time, the rest of us had engaged the other apes, drawing them away from the hostages. As soon as Speedy and I had their undivided attention, dodging bullets and letting loose a barrage of batarangs and arrows, KF swept in to free the hostages, and herded them to safety.

I took down one ape with a well-aimed electric shock batarang and Speedy took another, netting him with two net arrows. That left one final ape, bellowing and shooting wildly, bullets ricocheting like crazy all over the place. "Alright", I yelled over the ruckus, "Everyone together now." We all rushed the ape at the same time, Wonder Girl drawing his fire. I landing on his head and wrapped a thin steel cable around his neck. The ape staggered wildly, trying desperately to dislodge me, but I hung in there, my teeth clacking together and my bones rattling.

Finally, the ape stumbled, turned a circle and fell to the ground unconscious. Leaping off the beast's great hairy form, I slapped a high five with KF and started towards the hostages, who were clustered in the corner of the room where the junior speedster had stowed them.

"Alright everyone", I said, my voice as confident and commanding as I could make it, "We're going to get you out of here now. Just relax and everything will be fine." Now that they were clearly visible, I could count them. There were six people there, a woman with a tiny child, a man of perhaps forty, a teenage boy, a young girl and a woman in her mid twenties. Altogether, they were a motley group, all looking tired and preoccupied.

"You're not the Justice League", the man said, stepping foreward.

"No", Wonder Girl replied, landing beside me, "but we're the next best thing. Come on." The people stepped foreward, sticking close together like a flock of nervous sheep. Wonder Girl split them up as gently as possible so we could make sure they were all in good enough shape to make the trek through a stretch of jungle terrain which would take us to the shore and the boat.

I sent KF to find a door out of the place that didn't take us down into the water and turned to inspect the hostages. The little girl glanced at me, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. She looked about six or seven and was pretty upset. I knelt down next to her, extending one hand. "Hey Sweetheart, it's ok, you're safe now. We'll take care of you."

"I want my mommy and daddy", she whimpered.

"Well, we're gonna find them soon as we get out of here." I figured I ought to keep her talking so I could take her mind off her troubles. "So, what's your name?"

"Ally", she replied.

"That's a pretty name for a pretty girl." She smiled at me and stopped crying. "Where are you from Ally?"

"Star City", she replied, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Really", I said, "Star City? I have a lot of friends in Star City. Have you ever seen Green Arrow?"

"He saved my daddy", the girl replied, eyes shinning excitedly. "Daddy was falling from this big tall building and Green Arrow swooped down and caught him up! Mommy was crying but I thought it was cool." I grinned.

"That is pretty cool. Hey, you know, Green Arrow's partner is here today with me. You wanna meet him?" The girl nodded rapidly and I beckoned Speedy over.

"This is Speedy", I said, "he works with Green Arrow."

"Hiya", Speedy said, kneeling in front of the girl. Considering my work done, I went over to Wonder Girl to hear her assessment.

"Well", she said, "they all look pretty good, although the little boy that woman is holding might have to be carried by one of us." I nodded.

"Do you wanna see if she'll let you have him?" Wonder Girl nodded and, after speaking a few moments with the woman, convinced her to reluctantly hand over her child. The little one whimpered and cried, reaching out for his mother, but Donna soothed him until he settled in her arms.

"Alright everyone", I said commandingly (though I think I lost some of their confidence when my voice cracked), "Lets move out."


	12. Chapter 12

So, we began the trek through the jungle. After finding a door for us, KF had taken point while I crept unseen through the underbrush, taking up the rear and surging upwards at times in order to make sure there were no apes pursuing us. If the distraction was going according to plan, there would be no apes wandering the island but I knew we couldn't be too careful.

The natural jungle sounds made me nervous, but gradually, I got into the rhythm of the soft crunching of leaves as the hostages trekked along, the screams of the birds as they called to one another and the sound of the ocean, dull, but ever present in the background. Every so often, a monkey would screech loudly in the background, but I learned to even distinguish that from an ape cry and paid it no more mind.

The jungle smelt of a mixture of rotting fruit and wet earth which tickled my nostrils. The trees, however, were large and ancient, not particularly iniquitous, but solemn and I almost felt as if I were intruding on their world. The branches, however, were marvelous to swing off of and, had the situation been less urgent, I might have spent several hours in the bowels of those majestic trees, giggling and throwing guavas at my teammates down below. 'Perhaps', I thought, 'when this is all over, I can come back here with Batman and throw guavas at him.'

Gazing down at the hostages below me, for I was now perched on a low hanging branch, much like my namesake, I watched their progress. Speedy was gently carrying the little girl, smiling and listening to her chatter. I was glad he could keep her mind off of what was going on.

The other hostages stumbled along on their own feet, helped by Wonder Girl, KF and Speedy. I would be with them too, but someone had to remain unseen. Just as I was considering slipping in closer to the group, I heard a small sound. It was nothing more than the crack of the tiniest twig behind me, but it was enough to put me on alert. I froze, ears strained towards the sound.

Then, all at once, the forest erupted with an Apeish roar. "Run", I screamed, leaping from the brush. It sounded like a bulldozer going through a forest, though I highly doubted the apes had one of those. Running along, I did my best to hurry the hostages in front of me, who were tripping and tumbling. There wasn't much that could be done for them.

The forest parted before us and the beach appeared, water sparkling like the purest of aqua jewels. The boat was also there, docked a little ways off shore with Aqualad sprawled boredly on deck. "Garth", I screamed. He looked up, and noticing us, leapt off the prow and swam to shore just as we skidded to a halt at the water's edge. The mighty sea breeze whipped my hair, tugging and kneading it like Batman's fingers often did on late nights and sleep patrols.

"Something's after us, we need to get these people on deck as soon as…" The trees flew in all directions as if they had exploded and there, standing at the very edge of the forest was the biggest ape I had ever seen. This creature was massive, at least the size of a bus, and reared on his hind paws, beating his chest and roaring.

"What the fuck is that?" Speedy yelped.

"Get these people out to sea", I screamed to Aqualad. He nodded and, a moment later, a small raft pulled by several sleek looking dolphins appeared.

"Get on", Wonder Girl yelled as the ape began to pound down the shoreline towards us. We weren't going to make it out to sea in time. Making a split second decision I knew I would later regret, I charged towards the massive primate, launching batarangs as swiftly as I could. They embedded themselves in the beast's hairy thighs. It roared in agony and turned its attention to me, beady red eyes fixed on my face.

"Robin", KF yelled frantically.

"Go", I replied, my words snatched up and carried by the wind, "that's an order. All of you, get on the boat and go. You can come back for me when the people are safe." My team hesitated but an instant before herding the hostages onto the raft and climbing on themselves. It was just the ape and I now.

Again, the creature rushed towards me, raising its great fists. I leapt out of the way at the last possible second, just as those mighty paws came down right where I had been. A cloud of sand erupted upwards, blinding me temporarily. The ape gave another roar and kicked out with its back paw, catching me by a hare's breadth. I went spiraling through the air, and landed heavily in the sand, my head smacking so hard, I felt myself beginning to black out.

The last thought I had before going unconscious was 'Wow, those clouds look like bunnies!'

0000000000000000000

I told the guy playing bongos on my head to quit several times, but he just wasn't listening. Slowly, opening my eyes, I had to blink a few times just to stop my vision from swimming. All I saw was a confused blur of colors. "Hello boy wonder, I see you are now conscious, this is excellent. We can begin then." Finally, all those funny shapes came together and my vision cleared. Looming over me was Gorilla Grod, big yellow teeth bared in a wicked smile.

"Dude", I murmured, waving my hand in front of my nose, "Seriously, breath mints and deodorant." Grod's face turned to a snarl and he struck me, sending me spiraling. I smacked the wall hard and lay still for a moment, gathering my wits.

"Grod!" The roar echoed so loud, I almost believed it shook the building down to its foundations. Ahh, that roar. I felt a lot better now. "Leave him alone!" Grod laughed quietly, and walked over to Batman, chained in the corner of the room.

"Don't fret Dark Knight. I won't be hurting your precious child anymore today. Of course, that's not to say he won't be killed. No, I'm afraid I must make an example of your little sidekick. Actually, this gives me the perfect opportunity to show the world the full capabilities of my new mind control machine. Be pleased you are given the honor of aiding me."

Shaking my head, my eyes fixed on Batman. He was dripping in sweat and shaking, probably throwing himself against those chains with as much fury as he could muster as soon as Grod brought me in here. The building was actually not all that big and there didn't seem to be much in it.

There was a machine to the side, blinking and blipping quietly to itself every so often. The white walls and scathingly bright lights kept me ill at ease. Rubbing my head, I slowly picked myself up, my mind already formulating a plan. I had wondered for a moment where the other leaguers were that is, at least, until I noticed them chained on the other side of the room.

Even Superman looked pretty whipped. I suppose kryptonite chains will do that to a guy. I assumed Batman was isolated because he was probably the only one with a chance of getting them out of those traps. Of course, I knew he would be out of the chains soon enough. He was probably already mostly out. I didn't know how he planned to take on Grod and his whole gorilla army though. Well, he'd have me and that was good enough.

The other apes sat quietly at the back of the room, scratching themselves and picking each other's hairy backs. When I was little and met Gorilla Grod for the first time, I refused to even go near the apes at the zoo. Bruce had to carry me over and hold me tightly the whole time, petting me and talking quietly to me about how he was there and that those were nice apes. Now, I just make faces at them. There was always a little shiver of fear that went down my spine though, because Gorilla Grod was powerful and he was frightening.

"Now", the mighty ape purred, "you will all get to witness my triumph." He walked on his knuckles over to the computer consol and hovered over it for a moment. "I wonder what it takes", he murmured wickedly, "to make a father kill his son." Batman's eyes grew wide, but before he could say a thing in protest, Grod flipped a switch.

Immediately, Batman's head snapped up and he stared at me, eyes empty and glassy. Right then, I started to feel uneasy. "Batman", I murmured tentatively, "boss, what's wrong?" He didn't answer. He just remained frozen. Grod sauntered back over and slowly unlocked the chains.

Batman stood up as if he were some sort of wind up soldier and curled one of those long chains around his hand. Then, he started towards me. "Batman", I said, my voice a little strained, "buddy, what's going on?" Grod laughed and Batman advanced on me. Suddenly, the chain snaked out, slamming down right where I had been. "Batman", I yelled, "Batman, snap out of it."

Again the chains slammed down. I leapt away desperately, but I could feel my leg growing weaker. The fight with the giant ape had left me with only one good leg to stand on. I knew it would fail me soon enough. Deciding I needed to end this quickly, I leapt at Batman, all at once going on the offensive.

But, he countered every single one of my moves with ease and slammed me back into the wall. I lay, dazed and trembling. He loomed over me, raising the chain high above his head. "Batman please", I whimpered, "please don't hurt me. Snap out of it. This isn't you. Fight it!" But, a second later, the chain came down heavily.

I screamed in agony, writhing on the ground. Batman froze for a moment and his eyes cleared. He gazed down at me, confused and concerned. "Robin?"

"No", Grod screamed, slamming down on another button with his mighty fist. Batman went ridged like a stone statue. "Finish him!" Grod roared. Batman lifted the chain again. I closed my eyes tightly and trembled, waiting for the blow. But, it never came. I opened them again cautiously. Batman was standing ridged above me. "Finish him!" Grod roared again.

Batman's eyes rolled back in his head and he toppled, hitting the ground hard. He had incapacitated himself for me! "No", Grod howled, "Gorilla warriors, destroy them both." His apes obediently rushed towards us. I staggered upwards and stood over Batman's prone form, ready to fight to the death before I let any of them get to him. I could only hope he would regain consciousness in time to fight them for himself, since I was sure to fall quickly.

Suddenly, the windows exploded inward with a mighty crack. "Titans go", KF yelled, and they flowed in like a river. I breathed a sigh of relief and hardened my stance, eyes locked on the ape surging towards me. He lowered his head like a charging bull and gave a mighty bellow. I grabbed him by the shoulders, flipping over him. A kick in the back sent him toppling like a great tower.

The giant ape crashed through the roof, bellowing and raging but, a moment later, Superman landed him a mighty blow on the jaw, sending him spiraling off. Someone had freed the leaguers, which was probably the first thing I should have done. But, my mind wasn't working quite like it was supposed to, a fact made blatant a moment later when an ape came at me from the side, knocking me down with a shot I should have easily blocked.

He raised his fists, preparing to make me into Robin goo. But, he didn't get to (something I was quite grateful for) because a moment later, there was a big black boot in his face. Batman fought with a ferocity I rarely saw as I sprawled on the ground by his feet, just watching and trying to find the strength to get up again. "You ok?" he asked, spinning around to grab my hand and help me up. I nodded.

"I think so. How about you?" He nodded and punched an ape in the face.

"We need to take out Grod. These apes are just pawns. They'll stop fighting if he goes down."

"Gottcha", I replied, "I'll spread the word." With that, I leapt off into the fray. As it turned out, getting to Grod was easier said than done. There were just so many apes and it wasn't long before it became clear that we were swiftly going to be overwhelmed yet again.

When Superman went down, we all knew we were done. It seemed only an instant later, the other leaguers had fallen as well. I gazed around in despair as Batman was chained yet again. Lying with one leg too battered to even allow me to try and scramble to my feet, I hung my head. We had failed. I was out of weapons and had played all my cards.

Grod stalked up, looming over me. "Human boy, you really thought you could win. You're pathetic." And, gazing at the gaping mouth above me, the only thing I could think was that I wished I had a bat grenade so I could shove it down his foul smelling throat. Then, out of the blue, it came to me. A sly grin crept over my face.

"What are you smiling at?" Grod asked, "You will die now." I opened a pouch on my belt and, before Grod could even react, shoved its contents past those big yellow canines down that red throat. A quick kick in the throat insured that he swallowed.

"Why you little…"Grod roared, grabbing me by the ankle, "You think you can defeat me with a mere pastry?"

"Now just any pastry", I replied, hanging upside down from his grasp, "a patent pending Robin crime fighting muffin of death." Grod froze and turned a sickly shade of green. He dropped me and retched frantically, emptying his stomach completely. But, that muffin had moved very quickly and the damage was already done.

Grod staggered around in circles, howling and hurling and running into things. Tripping over Superman, he slammed into a wall, slumping against it unconscious. Immediately, a change came over the apes that were present. The intense, angry look left their eyes, replaced by an innocent, animal expression. They dropped their guns and gazed at each other, dazed and confused. A cheer erupted from the leaguers and I rushed to Batman's side to free him.

As soon as the chains dropped from his arms, I was caught up in his embrace. "Good boy", he growled happily, "such a good boy Robin. I'm so proud of you." I grinned and beamed at him before wiggled from his grasp, running off to free Speedy.

Being the star of the show is one of my favorite things in the world and today was no exception. All the attention I was getting was probably the best thing in the world and I glowed like the sun. The congratulations and praise I got from every single leaguer (even Green Lantern, who said it kind of begrudgingly) was way cool. "Alright Batman", Superman said, talking to my mentor as I bounced around them with KF, chattering a mile a minute, "I have to admit, that's probably the strangest bat device I've ever seen but it was extremely effective." Batman rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't one of mine", he replied, "Robin cooked it up all on his own. Actually, he tried it out on me before we left home. I imagine that's how he knew it would work." I grinned and described the entire thing to KF and Speedy, who roared with laughter. Now, normally when I'm around my team and we're working, I like to carry myself with a little more poise, trying to act mature because I was the leader and all but today, I couldn't help but revert into my normal excited little kid self for a while. Sure I was fifteen, but who wants to act fifteen when they can act five.

"You guys should spend the night at my house!" I said excitedly, "All of you guys, 'cept for you Wonder Girl, 'cause you're a girl." She rolled her eyes and gave me a smile. "We can stay up late and eat junk food and watch lots of movies and crap like that."

"Yea", Aqualad exclaimed, "I never get to hang out on land with anyone."

"Not tonight", Batman said, putting a hand on my shoulder, "I think you all have already stayed up late enough. I know that it's at least Robin's bedtime."

"Aww come on", I whined, "I'm fifteen, I don't have a bedtime anymore."

"I agree", Batman replied, "you don't usually have a bedtime, but it's around three in the morning on our side of the world and I have little doubt in my mind you'll crash in the "wing" on the way home. You can have them over next weekend, since you're probably going to sleep through the whole day tomorrow and possibly some of the next day. Anyway, you'll be in recovery either way. So, next weekend, deal?"

"Alright", I said, slightly deflated. Flash sped up a moment later, still buzzing despite the late hour.

"I think Kid's parents want him home anyway. Come on cheetah, let's get back." KF grinned up at the Flash and stumbled a step towards him.

"Damn", he cursed, "my stupid leg. Fucking ape almost gnawed it off."

"Hey", Flash admonished, "language young man. Your mom's gonna blame me if you start talking like that." KF rolled his eyes. "Here", Flash offered, "I'll carry you." With that, he scooped up KF, cradling the junior speedster gently. Kid seemed to lose all the energy he'd had moments before in Flash's arms and sagged, head leaning heavily on his uncle's chest. "Betcha anything", Flash whispered to Batman, "even though it only takes me two seconds to get 'em home, he'll be asleep by then."

Batman smirked and with that, Flash was off. "Come on", Wonder Woman said to Wonder Girl, beckoning her over, "lets get you home." Wonder Girl yawned and hugged me, Aqualad and Speedy goodbye. Soon, Aqualad left, trotting after Aquaman as they made their way back to the sea and Speedy retreated into the arms of Green Arrow, deciding that being carried was superior to actually walking as a way to get to bed. I was left with Batman and Superman, who were still talking about containment possibilities for Grod as the rest of the leaguers finished picked up the mess.

By that time, my exhaustion had caught up to me and, since Superman wasn't really moving, I slumped against his leg, my arms wrapped loosely around it. Superman smirked and finished his conversation after a few moments before crouching down, giving my shoulder a little shake, since I had sort of descended into those falling asleep dreams one often gets when they're on the threshold of slumber.

"Hey kiddo", he said gently, "time for you to go home." I opened my arms, asking him wordlessly to pick me up. Superman rolled his eyes and scooped me up, holding me gently. "Hey", he murmured, "You did really good today Dick. I might just have to have you replace your mentor." I smirked and snuggled my head against his chest.

"Batman'd make a sucky titan though." Superman chuckled and put me down on my feet, giving me one last affectionate hug before taking off.

"Alright young man", Batman said sternly, standing before me, "bedtime." I nodded and yawned. "You need me to carry you?" I shook my head.

"I'm a big boy Batman", I replied softly, "I got legs." Batman smirked and walked ahead of me, leading me back to where the Batwing was stowed, a good ways from the complex unfortunately. Finally, when I was just starting to contemplate asking him to carry me, the plane came into view. Batman opened the hatch and picked me up, swinging me into my seat before climbing in next to me.

"You", he said, tapping a finger against my nose, "are not driving." I smirked and settled deeply into my seat. "Restraints", Batman said, "if I crash this plane…"

"We'll both die anyway. Please don't make me wear them Batman", I whined, "I'm tired."

"Safety first", Batman replied, "I'm not gonna lose you because you didn't put on your seatbelt." I rolled my eyes and slowly buckled in, grumbling all the while. He smiled and fondled my hair. I shooed his hand away.

"I'm mad at you", I grumbled, curled up into a little ball. He unfastened his cape and draped it over me, giving my hip one final pat before turning to the controls in front of him, piloting the plane smoothly away from the island. "I wanted to have a sleepover", I grumbled, shifting in my seat.

"Come on buddy", Batman replied, "You wouldn't have had any fun anyway, you'd all be asleep by the time we got back to the manor and I'd be stuck putting a bunch of teenagers to bed like they were two year olds. Next weekend, I promise, alright." I muttered something unintelligible and grasped the ends of his cape, drawing them tightly around myself.

"Hey", Batman said, "be happy. I'm proud of you. You did really well tonight. That was quite resourceful of you. You're gonna be a good Batman some day." Now, I have to give him points for that because if I know how to wrap him around my finger, he knows how to wrap me around his.

"I can't be Batman", I replied, rolling over to face him, "You're gonna be Batman forever."

"Hah", he laughed, "of course I'm not. I'm going to retire one day and you're going to have to take over. Then, I'll play golf in the backyard with my other aged friends and we'll watch you stop alien invasions and various other apocalypses on the news."

It sounded like such a wonderful thing when he said it, but we both knew that probably would not be the case. Death would, more likely that not, take him long before he even considered retiring. This was not a pleasant thought at all and definitely not one I was fond of. Naturally, it had the effect of completely erasing all the anger I had against him and, seeking comfort, I reached out and grasped on of his arms, wrapping my small ones around it and rubbing my head against it.

He smirked and scratched my chest with his trapped hand. "I'm gonna need that back you know", he said gently. I released it and rolled over, facing away from him. "Hey, come on kiddo", Batman said gently, putting a hand on my back, "You know you're gonna have to say goodbye to me eventually either way. Everyone has to say goodbye to their parents in their lifetime."

"That doesn't make it any easier", I snapped, pressing my cheek to the window.

"Dickie bird" Batman said gently, rubbing my back, "Don't worry about that now, alright. I'm not gonna die for a while at least. You're just not gonna let me. Don't worry about it now. I'm gonna be here in the morning and that's all that matters. Ok?" I sighed and closed my eyes, settling down. He was right. I couldn't worry about him dying. There was just no point.

Anyway, he was here with me now, stroking my spine. That was all that mattered. And he would be here in the morning. I grinned quietly to myself. I couldn't wait to jump on him and throw pillows at him. That was the last thought that traipsed through my head before I fell asleep.

He was so warm and he smelt so familiar and soothing, I almost fell back asleep, but I decided against it and opened my eyes. His face was smooth and line free, eyes calm and pleasant. He was obviously in a good mood. I snuggled my head against his chest, signaling to him that I was awake. He looked down at me and smiled.

"Hey Dickie bird, how come you're not asleep?" I shrugged. He had changed into his robe while I was dozing, probably thinking about how much I liked the feel of it against my cheek when he carried me to bed, something that seemed to happen way more often to me than it did to the average fifteen year old.

"Bruce", I murmured happily as he walked over the threshold into my room.

"Yup, I'm here kiddo", Bruce replied, "You want some help getting that costume off of would you prefer to do it alone." I yawned widely and shifted in his arms.

"Help me?"

"Sure son, you want pajamas?" I nodded and waited as he cradled me in one arm, fishing my pajamas out of the drawer. "Thank God for Alfred", he murmured softly, "that man has everything so organized, I don't know what I'd do without him." I smirked.

"You'd forever have your ties untied." Bruce rolled his eyes and put me down on the bed, gently pulling off first my tunic and belt, followed by my leotard. All of it ended up on the floor. "Alfred's gonna get after you and I for that stuff", I murmured sleepily, slumped in his arms as he pulled on my pajama pants. Bruce smirked.

"You wanna take them downstairs, be my guest. I, however, am going to bed." He buttoned the buttons on my shirt. When he was done, I slumped against his chest, eyelids flickering. "Hey baby bird," Bruce whispered, "just FYI, I'm not your bed."

"Close enough", I replied.

"Go on, get in bed. I'm going to sleep." I opened my arms again, asking him to pick me up. He rolled his eyes and consented. "You know, you're not a little kid anymore. You can't just ask me to do everything for you. When you move out and fight crime by yourself, I'm not going to be coming to your house every night to put you to bed."

"No", I agreed, "but you can right now." He smiled and pulled back my covers, placing me in gently. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I love you Dickie."

"I love you too", I replied, giving him a little kiss in return. He cupped my face in his hands, gazing into my eyes for a moment before tucking me in. Just as he was getting up, I reached out and snagged his hand. "Stay", I murmured, "for a little while, please." He sighed and relented, pulling back my sheets so he could lie down next to me. I cuddled into his embrace.

"I won't be here in the morning", he said sternly, "I'm only staying until you fall asleep."

"Ok", I replied, rubbing my head against his chest. He smiled and put his arms around me, cradling me gently as he stroked my hair. I felt his lips brush the top of my head before his cheek ended up there. Smiling, I relaxed totally.

"Best day ever", I whispered to him. He smiled.

"With you, that's every day." I heaved a contented sigh and closed my eyes, falling asleep almost instantly. My dreams were full of apes and muffins.

The End


End file.
